How to cut through small talk ✨

Plus: Five basic swimming skills

View this email online Today’s newsletter is brought to you by Life Kit producer Clare Marie Schneider “How are you?” “What’s up?” “Did you have a good weekend?”  These are common questions people ask each other when trying to connect or catch up.   There’s nothing wrong with them, but they may not elicit very interesting responses. “I’m good,” “Not much,” and “It was fun” don’t usually move the conversation forward or take the interaction in an exciting direction.  Priya Parker, a conflict resolution facilitator and the author of the book The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, says there are more engaging questions that can better cut through small talk. She calls them “magical questions.”  That includes: “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your pocket?” or “What topic could you give a 20-minute talk on with no preparation?”  She likes them because they are queries people immediately want to answer, and are designed to spark curiosity. “They help people feel like not just a blob, but a group of individuals. And they help you know something about somebody,” she says. How to cut through small talk Anjali Kamat for NPR More magical questions from Priya Parker  Ask one of these questions next time you’re hanging out with friends or need an icebreaker for a meeting at work.  Of course, not everyone likes questions like these, so read the room before you ask. If it feels forced, don’t push it. And, maybe starting with “How are you?” is still a good idea.    🎵 What was the first concert you went to, and who took you?  👣 What’s a path you almost took but didn’t?  🎁 What’s a gift you got that you loved?  ❌ What’s a gift you got that you hated?  🤨 What is one rule you had growing up that looking back now, you think was totally unnecessary or even a little funny?  👽 What are three gifts you would give aliens on behalf of humanity?  🌟 When was the last time you used glitter?  🏢 What is your favorite building in your community?  The art of magical questions Newsletter continues after sponsor message ✨Tell us your favorite magical question What’s a question you like asking friends or strangers that sparks interesting conversations and openness? Email us at lifekit@npr.org and tell us about why it works and the sorts of responses you’ve gotten. More Life Kit on communication and connection  Marie Bertrand/Getty Images From housework to sex, here's how relationship contracts can help couples. Relationship contracts might not sound romantic, but all relationships are contractual. Writer Mandy Len Catron says this is a tool for couples to express their needs and work together. Read the story.  How to host meaningful gatherings — without stressing yourself out. Hosting can be stressful, but it doesn't need to be. Conflict resolution facilitator Priya Parker discusses ways anyone can host a meaningful, memorable gathering. Read the story.  4 habits of highly effective communicators. Called “supercommunicators,” these people have the exceptional ability of creating authentic connections with others — just by listening and talking. Read the story.  Good conversations take time and attention. Here's how to have better ones. Having good conversations is an art form. NPR's Sam Sanders tapped longtime radio host and podcaster Celeste Headlee for her tips for really listening and connecting. Read the story.    Support our work & listen sponsor-free Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening and even some specially curated playlists of episodes by theme (Master your budget, Organize your life, Move your body, and more).   Check out all the NPR+ benefits available at plus.npr.org. Explore Life Kit+ 5 water skills for safety Kaz Fantone/NPR As many pools reopen ahead of the summer season, you might want to refresh or improve your swimming abilities. Being a strong swimmer isn't just about holding your breath underwater or splashing around in the pool. According to the American Red Cross, swimming well enough to save your life includes these five basic skills:   🥽 Jump into water, submerge yourself completely and bring yourself to the surface. 🤽 Float or tread water for one minute. When treading water, stay relaxed so you don't overexert yourself. 💦 Turn around in a full circle and find an exit.  🏊 Swim 25 yards to an exit without stopping. That’s the standard length of many pools in the United States, says Cullen Jones, an Olympic gold medalist swimmer. Use whichever stroke you're comfortable with.  🛟 Exit the pool or body of water without a ladder. Jones says knowing how to get out of the water is "just as important as getting into the water."  If you’re a confident swimmer and can complete the five water safety basics, Jones says to share your skills with others. "Immediately teach someone you care about how to swim."  It's never too late to learn how to swim 📧 Send us your dilemmas about body image We're looking for your questions on body image for an upcoming episode of Dear Life Kit, NPR's advice podcast. Have a conundrum with a friend, partner or family member related to the topic? Fill out our anonymous form at npr.org/dearlifekit.  In case you missed it Photo illustration by Tsering Bista/NPR Why you should fight to keep old friends. Nina Badzin, host of a friendship podcast, explains why staying friends with people from our past matters —  and how to nurture relationships with old friends across time and distance. Read the story.  5 eating habits that can help you sleep better at night. What you eat during the day can affect how well you sleep at night. Sleep researchers explain the impact of diet, caffeine and alcohol on sleep health, and share a list of sleep-supporting foods. Read the story.  Dear Life Kit: My neighbor's Christmas lights are still up. Should I call the HOA? An NPR listener writes: "We live in a nice neighborhood that has homeowner association rules, and our neighbor is violating them." Social etiquette experts weigh in. Read the story. Need a refresher on kids' water safety? Take this quiz. Drowning is the No. 1 cause of death for children ages 1-4 in the United States. To prevent drownings, make sure there's always a designated adult watching the water whenever kids are swimming. Take our quiz to test your knowledge on the subject. Read the story.  How to pack for your summer travel. Nailing the vacation packing list is a difficult art. Overpacking or underpacking can make an already unpleasant travel day go off the rails. But when you bring exactly what you need and nothing more, the whole trip runs more smoothly. This episode, Life Kit experts outline the ideal packing list and how to customize it based on your destination, the weather, how you're getting there and more. Listen to the episode.  Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: LifeKit@npr.org Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Looking for more great content? Check out all of our newsletter offerings — including Daily News, Code Switch, Health and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Life Kit emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 Unsubscribe  |  Privacy Policy