A juvenile House Sparrow being fed by his mother. Source: Shutterstock
In Chapter 7 of True to You, I wrote about Dave and Cindy and their adult son Lucas. Cindy thought Dave was overfunctioning for Lucas. Dave thought Cindy was way too hard on Lucas. Lucas thought they should relate to him the way he wanted. A spicy triangle that’s all too common for parents and a child.
One question I try to ask myself in my relationship to others, both professional and personal: When they’re with me, are they allowed to be interested in their challenges?
People get stuck when there’s no freedom for them to get interested. When their spouse is certain about how they should function, or when their therapist has a prescribed path for them, there is little incentive for the prefrontal cortex to come online.
Do any of these examples sound like you? ...
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