One of my favorite things about my paternal grandmother was her capacity to volley away other people’s worries like some kind of tennis pro. People would tell her she was helping others too much. That she needed to eat more food at dinner. That she needed to stop wearing garish socks she’d found in the free pile at the laundromat. She would just laugh and keep on being herself. I have a lot of conversations with people whose parents are at a transition point: changing their degree of care, hanging up the car keys, or moving in with their children. We talk about how easy it is to get stuck in the content questions:
Adult children want their parents to think about and talk about what the children are focused on. That’s the fusion in the relationship—my concerns should be your concerns. My priorities should be your priorities. Then they’re surprised when the parent gets quiet, changes the subject, or tells them to butt out. So here’s a different question for you: ... Keep reading with a 7-day free trialSubscribe to The Anxious Overachiever to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives. A subscription gets you:
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