Prairie dog sitting in the sand. Source: Shutterstock
When therapy clients struggle to generate ideas for how to work on themselves, I always encourage them to take the opposite approach. Making a list of what you are doing can be a marvelous starting point for change.
So without further ado, here are my ten tips for becoming a more anxious presence in the world.
Under no circumstances should you get out of bed in the morning without looking at your phone. Take extra time to focus on the emails you can’t answer until you get to the office. Tenderly cradle those people in your mind, considering how they can’t accomplish anything until you reply to them.
Remind your children to do something fifteen times and then prepare to act wounded when they haven’t done it. Bonus points if half the reminders are shouted down the stairs or with a toothbrush in your mouth.
At work, try to share your thinking within the first ten minutes of a meeting. This frees up the rest of the hour to reflect on how insane you sounded.
Make sure to text at least three different group chats about the annoying thing a colleague did. Consider which group is the most appropriately outraged—these are your real friends.
Do NOT call your mother back to plan for the upcoming trip you’re taking together. Instead, try to imagine the ridiculous message she left on your voicemail and be mad at it.
Make sure to do at least six things for people that they can do for themselves. Bonus points if they’re saying, “I can do it,” while you’re doing it.
Spend at least an hour thinking about how other people could be more responsible for themselves. If this is too hard, find someone who has thought a lot about how you could be more responsible for yourself. Do whatever they say.
It’s extremely important that you forget everything you’ve accomplished as soon as you do it. Better to focus on what you haven’t done. Complacency is the enemy!
Absolutely, under no circumstances, should you move towards a person who makes you anxious or has different opinions than you. Save that energy for the imaginary conversations you’ll have with them as you lie awake at night.
Save at least an hour in the evening to monitor how media personalities who are paid to create outrage have reacted to every major news event of the day. Bonus points if you try to change the mind of a stranger on the Internet.
If you’re laughing or crying, then I’ve done my job. If you’re mad at me, then you may hate fun and I’m not sure what I can do about that.
I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just want you to see how much there is to play around with during the day. Many of these behaviors help us feel steady in the moment, while making us more prickly in the long run.
Where could embracing a little bit of prickliness in the moment help you be steadier in the long run? Not picking up your phone. Moving towards someone who makes you anxious. Having the real conversation instead of the imaginary one. Trusting that people can do things for themselves. Trusting that you can do things for yourself.
What would you add to this list? Try making a comical one for yourself that shakes something lose in you. We’re all just trying to get steady in the moment.
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Join us for a free, live Q&A webinar on Wednesday, March 18 at 12 pm with ADAA member experts, Drs Mary K. Alvord, Lindsay Myerberg, and Rachel Weinstock to explore how talents and special interests can build resilience in children, teens, and families.
Developing a talent or special interest is a powerful protective factor for young people. Beyond academics and peer relationships, a "third island of competence" provides a sense of mastery, identity, and engagement—key ingredients for emotional resilience.
This session goes beyond supporting a child's interests. It will explore how nurturing curiosity and engagement can strengthen resilience not only in young people, but also within families and school communities.
From this discussion, participants will learn how to:
Identify and nurture a child's "island of competence" through talents and special interests
Use passion-based activities to build confidence, coping skills, and emotional resilience
Support families in creating balance and connection through shared interests
Encourage students and parents to engage in meaningful activities that strengthen the school community
Join this conversation to discover how small, intentional investments in passions and talents can create powerful pathways to resilience for children, families, and educators alike.
Lindsay Myerberg, PhD, is a licensed psychologist at Alvord, Baker & Associates. Dr. Myerberg specializes in treating children, adolescents, and young adults who present with a range of clinical issues, including mood and anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive and related disorders, behavioral/emotional dysregulation, and ADHD. She has particular expertise in exposure therapy for youth anxiety disorders. Learn more about Dr. Myerberg.
Rachel Weinstock, PhD, is a compassionate psychologist who treats children, adolescents, and adults at Alvord, Baker & Associates. She specializes in evidence-based, culturally-sensitive cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and enjoys integrating approaches from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Dr. Weinstock is especially passionate about using CBT with exposure and response prevention (ERP) to help individuals navigate anxiety and related challenges, including OCD and selective mutism. Learn more about Dr. Weinstock.
Please note: this public webinar is not eligible for continuing education credits.
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