The unnecessary solutions we offer others.

͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­

	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more 5 Things to Say Instead of, "Have You Tried . . ." The unnecessary solutions we offer others. Kathleen Smith Jul 17   READ IN APP   Two hooded vultures preening each other. Source: Shutterstock How many times in a week do you give obvious advice to people? Advice like: Have you tried Googling it? Have you set a reminder? Don’t worry about it. Have you talked to your doctor? Have you told them what you think? Just comically obvious stuff. These automatic responses to the distress of others often do little to help people. They are more about blasting away the anxiety they bring with them to a conversation. But what do you say, if you don’t always want to say, “Have you tried X?” Here are a few ideas. “Keep me posted on the challenge.” How do you signal to the other that you are interested in what they do with their problems, and you want to stay connected. Sometimes an “I hear you,” or “I hear your thinking,” is sufficient. Nothing at all! I think there’s a difference between a distant silence and a thoughtful willingness to tolerate some silence (and anxiety) as people think. Others, of course, can get stirred up by this silence. Many couples fall into this pattern, where one begs the other to say something reassuring. How do you stay connected, without falling into functioning for the other? “I hope you can get clearer on what you want to do.” This is a kind way of reminding the other that getting clearer is their responsibility. Upgrade to paid “It’s such an interesting challenge, figuring out what to do with X.” This one, of course, has its limits. You probably wouldn’t call someone’s terminal cancer diagnosis an interesting challenge. But if it’s a human problem, I love to say things like, “It is an interesting challenge, trying to figure out how to relate to this cast of humans.” “I’ve found that my advice is more about calming me down than being helpful to people.” This is a way to communicate a principle you may have, but also to highlight the role that anxiety plays in the pattern. That they could get some of your thinking, but it wouldn’t necessarily be better than their own. The caveat is that pulling a Kathleen line might come across as inauthentic. Best to come up with your own ideas about how to signal to the other person that: They are capable and in charge of themselves. You are interested in what they do with life’s challenges. You will continue to stay connected to them while they navigate these challenges. You are able to tolerate the anxiety in the room as they find their way. When have you been able to pull this off? Drop your ideas in the comments if you like. I’ll be on vacation for the next two weeks, but I have some fun exercises for paid subscribers in the queue. Free folks, I’ll see you in August! And don’t forget about the Summer of Human Contact challenge! Questions for you: In what relationships are you most likely to say, “Have you tried . . .” What would you like to try to say instead? What might it look like to successfully manage the anxiety you feel instead of trying to overfunction for the other? Similar posts: 7.5 Things You Can Say Instead of Overfunctioning for Others (paid) Are You Over-involved with Someone’s Distress? Are You Interested and Along for the Ride? (paid) If you are delighted and/or challenged by these emails, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid News from Kathleen Reading: Famesick by Lena Dunham. I loved Piranesi and now I want to read labyrinth books all summer. My favorite Substacks of late include the inimitable Tina Brown’s Fresh Hell, Tiff’s Cyber Celibate, and Ed Zitron’s Where’s Your Your Ed At? Listening: If you’re looking for a AI-skeptical computer scientist to follow, I would highly recommend Cal Newport’s podcast, Deep Questions. **BONUS JOURNAL for the TRUE TO YOU paperback! I’ve created a digital bonus journal to accompany the paperback launch of True to You. Email me a copy of your receipt and I’ll send it to you. Email me if you want me to speak to your group or you’re interested in doing family systems consultation/therapy with me. Buy my books True to You and Everything Isn’t Terrible for more in-depth stories of people working on their relationships and themselves. If you love them, consider giving them a review on Amazon so other folks can find them. If you haven’t gotten the free digital workbooks for them, email me. Want to read more of my writing? Check out my newsletter archives. Paid subscribers can access the entire archive. Follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram. Upgrade to paid You're currently a free subscriber to The Anxious Overachiever. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription. Upgrade to paid   Like Comment Restack   © 2026 Kathleen Smith 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe

Fitness mods for menopause, arthritis, and more

Put on your chef hat and reading glasses!️

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In a Nutshell Exercise is essential for keeping your body (and mind) healthy as you age. However, your fitness routine might need to change over the years. Today, we’re offering ways to adapt your workouts for some phases of life and health conditions that become more common with age.   • News to know: 'Star Wars' actress Daisy Ridley on her Graves' disease diagnosis   • We reviewed: The best skin care products with peptides   • Tips to live well: When and how to eat when nauseous and vomiting Let’s go, Morgan Mandriota Newsletter Editor, Healthline   Written by Morgan Mandriota July 17, 2026 • 2 min read

what’s got us buzzing Stay strong and healthy as you age by adapting your fitness routine According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention all adults should aim to get 150 minutes of moderate intensity exercise weekly — no matter their age. If that number sounds overwhelming, remember that any amount of physical activity is better than none! And we’re here to help you get moving. The older you get, the more important it is to incorporate a blend of exercises into your routine, including: strength endurance balance flexibility Below, find some fitness adjustments and tips that can support continued physical activity as you age. Modifications for menopause: Consistently participate in moderate intensity physical activities, such as aerobics and resistance training, instead of high intensity workouts. Keep the room's temperature cool if you’re working out at home. Have a cool, wet towel within reach, which may help if you start experiencing a hot flash. Wear lighter, looser clothing to stay comfortable to avoid chafing or irritation. Modifications for arthritis: Lean on household objects for extra support to ease you into positions. Squat while holding onto the kitchen sink, or do a small push-up with your hands on the counter. Try low impact aquatic exercises, which help to add resistance without loading the joints. Pay attention to how your body responds to any new exercise routines. Stop working out if you feel pain higher than about a 5 out of 10. Modifications for fatigue: Start gradually. Try short walks or swimming, going a little further each time. Aim to get at least 2 days per week of strength training using body weight, hand weights, kettlebells, or resistance bands. Consider low impact body weight classes like yoga or tai chi to improve muscle mass. Stretch at the end of your workouts. More fitness advice 💪 Over to you: Which types of exercises do you want to see next? Email wellnesswire@healthline.com, and we’ll do our best to feature them in an upcoming edition.       HEALTHLINE VIDEO Easy Chair Exercises for Limited Mobility. Looking for a way to stay active without leaving your seat? These chair exercises are designed specifically for those with limited mobility. Head over to our YouTube to watch this series of easy-to-follow movements that can help you increase strength, flexibility, and overall health. Watch now       health stories you need What we’re reading next 👀 Can melatonin help with chronic pain? A new study says yes! It might even be as effective as over-the-counter pain medication. 🎈 Remedies for morning bloating. Understanding the causes and simple ways to find relief can help you start your day feeling more at ease. 💚 Reimagining fulfillment when life doesn’t go as planned. Plus, how to create a joy library. 💊 Does Repatha interact with other drugs? And other questions you might have about this treatment.           Until next time, Take care of yourself, and we’ll see you again soon!     This edition was powered by a matcha latte.   View in browser Did a friend send you this email? Subscribe here. To see all newsletters, click here. Privacy    |    Unsubscribe We may feature your messages to our inbox within our content. Please do not provide any personal identifiable information. Replies may be edited for length and clarity. For more, see our Privacy Policy. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Healthline does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should not be used as a substitute for medical advice from a healthcare professional. Healthline encourages you to make any treatment decisions with your healthcare professional. Every product we recommend has gone through either Healthline’s or Optum Now’s vetting processes. If you buy through links on this page, we may receive a small commission or other tangible benefit. Healthline has sole editorial control over this newsletter. Potential uses for the products listed here are not health claims made by the manufacturers. Healthline and Optum Now are owned by RVO Health. © 2026 RVO Health 1101 Red Ventures Drive Fort Mill, SC 29707