Joey peeking from mother’s pouch. Source: Shutterstock
Happy Friday!
Are you tired of parenting advice and parenting styles? Do you worry about being too focused on your kids or not focused enough? Then take a seat. Today’s newsletter is for you.
Recently I had the pleasure of sitting down to interview Dr. Jenny Brown, author of the new book The Parenting Paradox: Loving Our Children by Giving Them Space to Grow. Jenny is a highly respected colleague in the family systems world, and she’s spent decades researching and helping parents get interested in how they manage themselves, rather than directing more intensity toward their children.
In the interview, we discuss what generates anxiety in parents and caregivers today, and how parental anxiety can take on different forms. How do we get out of the worry cycle, and relate to our kids in a way that encourages their natural resourcefulness?
Join us in person! I’ll also be interviewing Jenny at her book launch event on Wed, June 24th at 7pm EST. DC folks, you and your parenting anxiety can join us IN PERSON at Capitol Hill United Methodist Church. Or join via zoom.
Hope to see you there!
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**CLINICAL CONFERENCE -Join me virtually on Friday, July 10th, with the Center for Family Consultation. I’ll be presenting on how therapists stay curious in an impatient culture. I’ll have lots of exercises for you!
**BONUS JOURNAL for the TRUE TO YOU paperback! I’ve created a digital bonus journal to accompany the paperback launch of True to You. Email me a copy of your receipt and I’ll send it to you.
Email me if you want me to speak to your group or you’re interested in doing family systems consultation/therapy with me.
Buy my books True to You and Everything Isn’t Terriblefor more in-depth stories of people working on their relationships and themselves. If you love them, consider giving them a review on Amazon so other folks can find them. If you haven’t gotten the free digital workbooks for them, email me.
In 2018, I stood in front of Pool with Two Figures at the Met and I heard, almost literally, a whisper that I had to paint people in water. It was winter in Massachusetts and I asked my cousin who has a beautiful home and pool in Phoenix if they needed a house sitter and they gave me their house for a week while they traveled. I invited other family to come over and pose for me. And I made my first people and pool paintings. Hula Hoop Girl was my first.
Water paintings over the years.
PARIS - JUNE 2025
I changed my flight home after teaching in Morocco to go through Paris so I could see this show. I just knew it would be really important for me. My artist friend Noah Woods met me in Paris for three days and we booked two days to see the show. I’ve never studied a show this way before
Since this painting was my initial inspiration to paint water - where I heard the whisper, getting to really study it was amazing.
Day 1, I mostly took it all in, doing a bit of drawing. But Day 2 I really submerged myself — even sitting on the floor with a school group, drawing them as they were told about the portraits. What an incredible experience. And such fun to share it with Noah, whose love for Hockney's work was on par with mine.
I came away from the Paris show full of awe and inspiration. I had fun painting this self portrait from a photo of me in the ‘photo booth’ set up in the museum.
MEETING CHARLIE
Charles “Charlie” Scheips is a New York-based curator, author, and cultural historian who served as David Hockney’s chief studio assistant in Los Angeles during the 1980s. Their nearly 40-year friendship and professional bond produced numerous portraits and lasting impacts on the modern art world.
I was staying at the National Arts Club in NYC and met my friend/artist Gavin Snider in the bar one night to draw. A man came over as he was leaving with a friend, curious about our sketchbooks, and mentioned he was also an artist. He showed us one of his paintings on his phone, and I said, “This looks a bit like David Hockney” — and he said, “I was his assistant for many years.” Gavin and I exchanged a look: is he for real? We quickly realized he very much was, so when he asked if he could join us, we said of course — and promptly asked him everything about his time with David.
I’ve kept up with Charlie on Instagram ever since, and when I was at the Paris show last summer he saw my posts on IG and asked me to send the video directly so he could pass it along to David. Who knows if he ever saw it — but what a thought!
Charlie’s portrait was the first one in the big room of portraits in Paris!
Looking at my Jump! cover, I remember that it was set to run in 2017, but ended up running in the summer of 2018. I can see clearly that his work had not yet influenced my painting of water. But by my 2020 cover - I was definitely inspired by him.
LACMA: David Hockney: 82 Portraits and 1 Still-life
Flying home from Mexico, I decided to make a stop in L.A, partly because I wanted to see my family, (that’s my wonderful cousins Betty and Betsy :) but also because I really wanted to see this show. We all went together. I loved seeing all these portraits close up, and the red walls! Amazing. I was especially inspired by how rough some of his hands were! All the people, sitting in similar chairs, some famous, but many simply friends and people in his life.
As I painted this past winter for my upcoming show in Leland, MI in August, I created a new series of bed paintings, painting the bedding in a similar way that I’d paint water.
I made a series of about 60 nudes on panels - very inspired by seeing his amazing collections of paintings in Paris, as well as looking at other collections he’s done over the years. My husband built the wood panels and I’m so excited to see them on the walls in my show!
I REALLY got the message, one or two paintings or drawings? Fine but not that impactful. But shown as a collection of many?! Powerful!
Writing this has been a nice way to honor David Hockney today. I knew he’s been a huge influence on me, but this really makes me realize just how impactful he’s been. I had a moment looking at all of this where I thought - was I TOO influenced? Copying? But no-I think I was inspired and made it my own. Margaret Ann Silverwrote a sweet post that Suleika Jaouad shared recently that speaks to this.
One spot opened for my June 27 & 28 workshop here at my place in Western Massachusetts. Since there are no refunds - the person who cannot come is willing to make a deal. Write me if you’re interested!
