|
utorak, 29. rujna 2026.
Navigate treatment options with confidence
Complete: make it urgent
I’ve spent so many late nights finally starting work on something I’ve been avoiding for weeks… or months. (Sometimes you find out too late that you don’t have all the information you needed to start and you have to just improvise because it’s definitely way too late to ask, good thing I’m a creative problem solver…) But usually, the night before one of those big deadlines, something inside me jumps into action. The focus suddenly shows up, the decisions get easier, I get some sort of supernatural clarity of what I need to be doing, and the work starts happening. The starting gun finally fired and my brain jumps into action. Honestly, my best work often comes out of nights like those. But simply waiting around for the panic of a too-soon-deadline is a pretty stressful way to live. And that panic doesn’t always show up in time for even supernatural Jesse to get it done before it’s due. That’s the double edge of Complete (one of the 4 Cs of Motivation): urgency may be the most reliable motivator we have, but it’s also the one that can hurt us if we’re not careful. Here are a few ways we can use urgency to our advantage without waiting for the panic to hit: Shrink the deadline. A deadline three weeks away doesn’t exist to our brains. So break it into pieces that are due soon: the outline by Tuesday, the ugly first draft by Friday. Make deadlines that are close enough to actually feel. Make it real. Fake deadlines can be easy to ignore, you know who made them up! So add some witnesses. Tell a friend the draft is coming on Monday. Book an appointment you can’t just avoid. When I was writing my book, I recruited early readers because I knew that promising them chapters created deadlines with real people attached. Borrow a countdown. Small urgency works too: how much can you get done before the kettle starts screaming from the stove, before the big game starts, or before your partner gets home? The most productive I ever was at housecleaning was knowing my parents were almost back from a trip. You can manufacture a tiny deadline out of nothing, and tiny is often enough to start. But remember that urgency has a cost. It’s very effective, but running every task on last-minute adrenaline is one of the fastest roads to burnout, that familiar crash that hits after the all-nighter. Created urgency in doses you pick is the sustainable version. It works best when you’re the one in control. This week’s worksheet: Deadlines You Can Feel. Build urgency that doesn’t burn you out.
P.S. Several years ago, I recorded a podcast episode with Kevin Maguire of The New Fatherhood and it’s now available to listen to! It’s a super fun conversation about navigating parenting with ADHD and the ups and downs of trying our best to encourage our kids and be the best parent we can. Why did it take several years to be release? You’ll have to listen and find out! You can find it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Podcasts. This newsletter is supported by readers like you! Become a paid supporter to unlock every article in the archive and gain full access to paid member perks.
|
What I Notice in the First Five Minutes of Couples Therapy
You can learn a lot about a couple from the first five minutes of a therapy session. People can sense this, which dials up their anxiety, ramping up the very behaviors a therapist is monitoring. So I have a lot of empathy for people who are willing to come and think about a challenge with a third party. I try to be neutral about what they do to get steady. But it’s useful to see what’s happening below the surface of the content being discussed. So here are four behaviors I may spot when I meet with a couple for the first time. ... Keep reading with a 7-day free trialSubscribe to The Anxious Overachiever to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives. A subscription gets you:
|
Pretplati se na:
Postovi (Atom)
Navigate treatment options with confidence
Treatment options, care-team questions, and second opinions: the guides our readers turn to most. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ...
-
Plus: Kicking off Pride Month with the new Goodnewspaper and more good news to celebrate! ...
-
Plus: A landmark ruling for new fossil fuel projects and more good news to celebrate! ...
-
Plus, a roundup of links and fun finds from the week. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ...
