🥧 How to work with your social anxiety this holiday season

Plus, how to thrive, not just survive, this winter

View this email online This newsletter is brought to you by Life Kit producer Clare Marie Schneider Next week, many will gather with friends and family for Thanksgiving. Beyond the pies and turkey carving, Thanksgiving offers a special opportunity for social awkwardness and anxiety.  Maybe you’re headed to your aunt’s to socialize with family you haven’t seen in months or you’re gearing up for a Friendsgiving with some guests you’ve never met.   It's easy to spiral and feel anxious in social settings. The stakes feel high and you want to make a good impression. But social anxiety can get in the way of connection, fun and feeling good.  Here are some tips from psychologists on how to embrace the awkwardness and practice social courage around the dinner table next week.    Help me socialize     Jonathan Knowles/Getty Images ⚠️ Push yourself outside your comfort zone. “The thing about anxiety is in the short term, it feels really good not to encounter the thing you're anxious about,” says psychologist Fallon Goodman. But Goodman recommends taking yourself outside your comfort zone to “move you closer to the person you want to be.” For example, maybe you loved playing basketball as a kid, but feel too anxious to go to that pickup game near your house. To make it less scary, try bringing along a trusted friend.  🥅 Set a goal for socializing. If you’re headed to a happy hour or office party, set a small, realistic goal for yourself, says Goodman. For example, maybe your goal is to introduce yourself to one new person or ask two questions. Making a game plan ahead of time can help with those pre-party jitters, says Goodman.  😱 Identify your fears. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll spill your drink all over your shirt or no one will talk to you. “Most of the time, the fear doesn’t come true,” says Goodman. Naming your fears ahead of time can make the real-life experience feel less scary, she says.  🥂 Beware of liquid courage. A drink or two can ease anxiety and boost confidence for the night. Goodman says it’s fine if you use a glass of wine to make you feel more relaxed every once in a while. But be wary if you start relying on it to socialize, “where you feel like you can only have good social interactions if you have alcohol.” Plus, alcohol can actually exacerbate feelings of anxiety. While initially it can have a calming effect, as it leaves your system, alcohol can cause a surge in adrenaline, a racing heartbeat or feelings of worry or stress, says Dr. Nzinga Harrison, a physician specializing in psychiatry and addiction medicine. 💬 Ask open-ended questions. If you’re feeling anxious, try taking the spotlight off yourself by asking questions. Opt for open-ended questions like, what do you do for fun? Instead of yes or no questions like, do you like video games? “So many of us are trying to be interesting when the key to social interaction is actually to be interested in the other person,” says psychologist Ali Mattu.  😳 Embrace the awkwardness. It’s OK if you say something awkward or there’s a lull in the conversation. “The goal is not to eliminate awkwardness in your life,” says Mattu. Mattu says the price of social connection is sometimes saying something you regret or talking over someone accidentally.    More socializing tips, please! Newsletter continues after sponsor message Life Kit’s guide to Thanksgiving Katherine Streeter for NPR A beginner's guide to roasting a Thanksgiving turkey. If you roast your turkey on a pre-heated pizza stone, you can avoid the dreaded task of flipping the piping hot bird midway through the cooking process, says Lan Lam of America's Test Kitchen. Read the story. How to host meaningful gatherings — without stressing yourself out. Hosting can be stressful, but it doesn't need to be. Conflict resolution facilitator Priya Parker discusses ways anyone can host a meaningful, memorable gathering. Read the story.  How to take a refreshing nap (without ending up more tired). Naps can offer significant benefits, from emotional regulation to improving memory and athletic performance. But there are right and wrong ways to snooze. A sleep psychologist and a sleep physician explain the factors of the perfect nap and the importance of daytime rest. Read the story.  Want to make tastier, prettier pies? A baker tells us where to start. Self-taught baker Lauren Ko shares her simple tips for making better — and more beautiful — pies. Read the story. Is it OK to keep reheating leftovers? Honest questions about food safety. How real is the five-second rule? Will I get sick if I keep reheating the same leftovers? A refresher course on food safety for the holiday season. Read the story.    We want to hear from you      Malte Mueller/Getty Images Life Kit is seeking stories from people dealing with the mental health challenges of being unemployed. Do you have a story about how you've navigated long-term unemployment? How did you keep your spirits up or manage the stress? Email us at lifekit@npr.org. In case you missed it Nando Martinez/Getty Images 5 fitness and mental health tips for men. Why is muscle power so important? What do you really need to know about your testosterone levels? What are some free, research-backed tools for managing depression? Brett McKay, founder and editor-in-chief of The Art of Manliness, an independent men's health and lifestyle web magazine, shares top health tips. Whether you identify as a man or not, he says a lot of this advice can help us all live healthier lives. Listen to the episode.  People in colder countries understand the magic of winter. What's their secret? Researcher Kari Leibowitz traveled to places with some of the harshest winters on Earth to understand how people thrive in the cold and dark. Her findings may inspire you to find comfort and joy in the season. Read the story.  What to do if you're losing your hair. People may think of hair loss as a guy thing. But by some estimates, half of all women experience hair loss in their lifetime. While there are some solutions out there based in science, not every remedy works for every person — or every type of hair loss. Listen to the episode from our friends at NPR's science podcast Short Wave.  Try a free month of Life Kit+ Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening and even some specially curated playlists of episodes by theme (Master your budget, Organize your life, Move your body, and more).   Check out all the NPR+ benefits available at plus.npr.org and use the code "freemonth" for a 30 day trial of Life Kit+! Explore NPR+ Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: LifeKit@npr.org Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Looking for more great content? Check out all of our newsletter offerings — including Daily News, Code Switch, Health and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Life Kit emails. 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