How to support a friend through cancer ❤️‍🩹

Plus: Do collagen supplements really work?

View this email online This newsletter was written by NPR Life KIt podcast host Marielle Segarra. When I was in middle school, I'd spend hours sitting in a dark closet in my bedroom on the phone with my cousin. We'd gab about our crushes, using their secret code names. We'd share funny stories about our families. She was someone who I could rely on to make me laugh. Last year, my cousin was that person for me again. But this time, I was sitting in a chemo chair with an IV in my arm and a freezing cold cap strapped to my head to preserve my hair follicles. My diagnosis of breast cancer hit me like a rogue wave. But my cousin was there with me, holding my hand and making me smile. Getting cancer at 34 was shocking and life-changing. But through it all, I never felt alone. The people in my life were there for me in so many different ways. Their steady support kept me going. It can be hard to know how to show up for someone with cancer. But from my own experience, and from talking to other cancer survivors, I've learned that the best thing you can do is think about what you're good at, and what you, in particular, might offer your person at this moment. Here are four specific roles that friends and family members can play for a loved one with cancer. They each meet a critical need that cancer patients often have. Support a loved one through cancer Illustration by Kristen Uroda for NPR 3 ways to support a loved one with cancer 🗒️ If you're detail-oriented and comfortable in medical environments … consider being a doctor’s appointment buddy. NPR listener Rich Coker, whose wife Maya was diagnosed with cancer in 2024, says that having a couple of doctor friends accompany them to early appointments was invaluable."They asked questions we wouldn't know to ask." 🫂 If you're the kind of person who is comfortable with physical touch, sitting in silence, praying or even bringing your best comedy routine … consider being a procedure pal. You can go with your loved one to their scans, surgeries, and radiation and chemotherapy appointments. These will be a bit different from a standard doctor's appointment because they're less about asking questions and taking notes and more about providing emotional and physical support, and advocating for the person as needed. 🙋‍♀️ If you're good at organizing and planning, and willing to take initiative … considering being a household helper and meal planner. Offer to bring over dinner. Coordinate other friends who want to help by creating a meal-train calendar. Instead of asking, "What can I do?", make a specific offer. Don't give your friend the extra task of assigning you a task. Say: Hey, can I come do a load of laundry for you? Walk the dog? Bring you a smoothie? Cancer survivors share advice on what they need Newsletter continues after sponsor message ❤️‍🩹 More on caregiving, illness and recovery from Life Kit Miko Maciaszek for NPR The right (and wrong) things to say to a grieving friend. It can be hard to find the right words to say to a friend whose loved one has died. Experts share the dos and don'ts of expressing condolences. Read the story here. 4 pieces of advice for caregivers, from caregivers. Two women who took care of their moms as unpaid caregivers share advice about how to approach the job, find support and make time for self-care. Read the story.  How to actively heal from an injury or illness. If you're recuperating after an illness or injury, it's normal to not feel like yourself. Your body needs time to heal so you can get back to your regular activities. Dr. Gavin Francis shares practical tips on active healing, deciding which activities to spend your energy on, and pacing yourself while still testing your limits. Listen to the episode. Take control of your care when you're seriously sick. Finding out you have a serious medical condition can leave you reeling. These strategies from medical and lay experts will help you be in control as you navigate our complex health care system and get the best possible care. Read the story.  We want to hear from you: Send us your best shopping tips How do you make sure you get the best deals on items you need and want? What sales and deals do you avoid or take advantage of? We want to hear your best savvy shopping tips and how you stay away from marketing tactics while online or in-store. Email us at lifekit@npr.org.  Support our work & listen sponsor-free Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening and even some specially curated playlists of episodes by theme (Master your budget, Organize your life, Move your body, and more).   Check out all the NPR+ benefits available at plus.npr.org. Explore Life Kit+ 💤 Reminder! Daylight saving time ends this weekend Olivia Sun/NPR This Sunday, Nov. 2, the clocks will “fall back” with the end of daylight saving time. And while many rejoice over the extra hour of sleep that comes with the time change, messing with our body clock takes a toll. In fact, the shift in your body's sleep-wake cycle can disrupt your sleep for several days. To help your body adjust to the time change, here are five things you can do during the day to sleep better tonight. Reset my sleep after daylight saving time 🎃Happy Halloween! Here are some last-minute costume ideas Svetlana Iakusheva/Getty Images Not sure if you want to dress up tonight? Try going with something classic and easy to execute like a ghost. (Old sheet plus scissors, and you’re set). Or, try repurposing something from your closet.  Don't forget to dig through your friends' closets too — especially those "who have a slightly different style" than you, says Los Angeles-based stylist Sophie Strauss. If you're trying to put together a costume with a disco cowboy theme, you might source a cowboy hat from one friend and a sparkly top and a bolo tie from another, she adds. Last-minute costume ideas In case you missed it Luis Echeverri Urrea/iStockphoto/Getty Images Do collagen supplements really work? Collagen supplements have been widely promoted on social media, with claims that they'll strengthen hair and nails, lessen wrinkles and even ease joint pain. But are there studies backing these claims? NPR health correspondent Maria Godoy dives into the research and shares science-backed tips for better skin that are more effective. Read the story.  3 culinary tricks that might get you to eat more veggies, according to chef Roy Choi. Chef Roy Choi, known for his Korean-Mexican fusion food trucks, focuses on veggie-forward dishes in a new cookbook. He shares techniques to get you excited about your greens, plus 3 flavorful sauces. Read the story.  A flight expert's hot take on holiday travel: 'Don't do it'. But if you have to, here's some advice. Scott Keyes, the founder of the travel site Going.com (formerly Scott's Cheap Flights), shares the best days to fly and what to do if your flight gets delayed. Read the story here. How introverts and extroverts can be better friends. Introverts and extroverts move through the world differently and sometimes friendships can suffer when those differences clash. Reporter Yowei Show, host of the podcast Proxy, explores the science of personality to help you bridge the divide in your own friendships. Listen to the episode. Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: LifeKit@npr.org Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Looking for more great content? Check out all of our newsletter offerings — including Daily News, Code Switch, Health and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Life Kit emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 Unsubscribe  |  Privacy Policy