This week's 3 Good Things featuring Aliza Sir

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	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Recs #80: The art of friendship, writing without guilt, and memoirs to love This week's 3 Good Things featuring Aliza Sir Alisha Ramos and Aliza Sir Feb 21   READ IN APP   This is the Friday post at Downtime, a weekly grab bag of recommendations and delightful distractions from Alisha and guests. If this email cuts off, you can view it on the web. Hi, happy Friday! Today’s letter features a special guest with plenty of wisdom to share—and I’m sneaking in a couple of cozy spring style basics. Hope you enjoy, and have a lovely weekend. (I’ll be watching The White Lotus over here, who else?!) —Alisha P.S. Congrats to reader Bridey H. on winning last week’s big beauty reader giveaway! Downtime is a reader-supported publication. To receive weekly recommendations and links directly to your inbox, consider becoming a paid subscriber to support my work and gain full access to the archive of 160+ (!!) posts. Upgrade to paid Aliza Sir is (along with Aja Frost), the co-creator and author of the Platonic Love newsletter, an always thoughtfully produced read that covers topics across relationships, friendships, career, and motherhood (don’t miss Aliza’s essay on postpartum body image). She lives in Cambridge, MA, with her husband and two-year-old son, Jude. Below, Aliza shares three thoughtful recommendations, along with insights and wisdom from her life as a busy mom right now… Aliza’s 3 Good Things A relaxing bath product. I’ve been using this shower gel for years (my first bottle was a gift from my mother-in-law) and it makes my shower feel like a spa. My favorite scents are black pepper and flora luminare, but they’re virtually all good (my sister and I went around sniffing every bottle at a Molton Brown shop in London last fall) — plus, the bottles last forever. Really good memoirs. I read a few memoirs a year; a good one helps me better understand the writer and myself. Some of my favorites include: The Yellow House by Sarah M. Broom, a brilliant and unforgettable account of a family’s New Orleans home before and after Katrina. Just Kids by Patti Smith, a poignant love story and salute to the New York City of the sixties and seventies. Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, Dolly’s coming-of-age memoir and arguably more about friendship than romantic love. Gallery wall tips. Over the past decade, my husband, Sam, and I have lived in five different homes, but my gallery walls always come with us. It’s my one real design “skill,” and I love watching them evolve in each new space. I never measure—just add pieces like a puzzle as I go. Right now, my favorite walls are in our guest bathroom and dining room, which feature personal touches: an old photo of my grandfather sailing, Tennessee’s state flower (purple irises), Sam’s antique map of Japan, and New Orleans jazz posters, like the ones my grandparents collected after founding Preservation Hall in the ’50s. Our latest addition? A tiny green-and-gold frame with a flower Sam brought back from Rome. Previously on Downtime: The case for documenting your outfits A cookbook that’s like an escape to the South of France How we manage and divide household chores without losing our minds A Few More Things From Aliza… A self-care ritual for well-being Last summer, I was diagnosed with secondary infertility and Asherman’s syndrome. It’s been really hard — lots of painful procedures, disappointing test results, and waves and waves of grief. The irony is that going through this awful thing has finally forced me to take better care of myself. I started going to acupuncture, after ignoring the recommendations of my mom and a few friends for years, and while unfortunately it won’t solve my specific physical issues, it’s helping me manage stress. I try to go twice per month and look forward to every appointment. Two practical journaling tips I’ve been a regular journaler since my teens and always keep a notebook next to my bed — but I still frequently go a month (or longer!) without picking it up. I mostly write about what I did, who I did it with, etc. I used to feel like I needed to apologize or catch up in my journal when I was starting an entry for the first time in a while. I think one of the best changes I’ve made in the past couple years is giving myself a pass. It’s okay to just start back up again where I am. (Feeling less pressure usually makes me journal more often, ha.) The other thing that works for me is always bringing my journal with me on trips. At least two-thirds of my journal entries start with ‘I’m on the train…’ or ‘I’m on a flight to…’ I love writing about travel, but it’s mostly because that’s when I finally feel like I have the time and space to sit down and reflect on the other parts of my life. Aliza and her husband, Sam, and son, Jude On how friendships change in motherhood I had my son before most of my friends — including Aja Frost — were thinking about kids, which came (and still does come) with some challenges and growing pains. First, I've had to figure out how to maintain friendships with friends who don't have kids. Jude is two years old, but this is still a work-in-progress, ha. These days, I usually meet these friends out for dinner after Jude goes to bed (while Sam is home), or invite them to come over to mine. The first time I asked Aja to hang out with me during Jude’s bedtime routine, I could tell she felt awkward. She told me later that she wasn’t sure what her role should or could be. But I kept inviting her to come over, and she kept coming back, and over time she’s gotten a lot more comfortable — and been able to see Jude’s routines and quirks and preferences (like his Nutcracker and frozen blueberries obsessions) evolve as he gets older. A few nights ago, I told Jude we were having hummus bowls for dinner — something we’d made with Aja a few weeks earlier — and he asked me, ‘Aja coming?’ [Ed note: Omg so cute!!] Finding parent friends was a different challenge. I initially tried to find a local mom group, but didn’t click with anyone. Then one Saturday, a casual chat with another mom at a coffee shop turned into exchanging numbers, which led to meeting her neighbor… and suddenly I had this little community! Our hangouts look very different than they would have if we’d met five years ago — we're in backyards watching the kids run around until bedtime, helping each other with daycare pickups, and passing along outgrown diapers — but it's exactly the kind of support and friendship I need right now. "We're in backyards watching the kids run around until bedtime, helping each other with daycare pickups, and passing along outgrown diapers, but it's exactly the kind of friendship I need right now." [Ed note: Don’t miss Aliza’s piece on the things she’s let go of since becoming a mom. Sooo good.] On a small but meaningful act of friendship. My best friend knew I’d been having a tough time recently, so when I had an event coming up, I got a text from her one day that just said, “I got my flights!” I hadn’t even asked her to come — she just knew I’d need her there. Thank you so much for sharing, Aliza. You can follow Aliza’s writing in the Platonic Love newsletter. Leave a comment Easy, effortless closet staples are all I want right now—the kind of throw-on-and-go pieces that quietly do the heavy lifting. Lately, I’ve been leaning into comfort and simplicity, bookmarking pieces that reflect this season of life (even as spring tempts me with flashy, personality-packed trends). But for now, I’m sticking to the classics: solid colors, easy stripes, and versatile all-season staples. Below are a few recent saves. What have you been drawn to lately? —Alisha Soft suede driving loafers look so cozy and easy to slip on and go. I’ve been looking for a sneaker alt for spring, and this trend might be it. Madewell’s darted barrel jeans: Finally, a barrel leg that doesn’t look ridiculous on me. It’s more of a subtle barrel. The petite length was perfect for me (5’0”).* My closet MVP French terry sweatshirt is now available in red. It’s spongey, drapey, perfectly oversized, highly saturated color, washes well, isn’t crap quality, and is made in LA. ALISHA10 gets you 10% off. A classic trench coat to throw over anything.* A perfectly oversized striped tee I’m wearing with leggings or jeans.* On my wishlist: a delicate gold anklet as a finishing touch. A nonfiction book rec: “I’m reading Barbarians at the Gate about the takeover of RJR Nabisco with some friends and we have a group chat called “cookie wars” which is delightful. The book is a classic for a reason and it’s epically long — we’re all listening on audible and it’s a whole day’s long! — which makes it feel like an accomplishment akin to reading the Power Broker. I love books like this — Liars Poker is one of my favorite books! — so finding this story of gossip, drama and financial engineering poorly handled by some rich dudes is so entertaining during this cold ghastly winter.” — reader Francesca K., in response to this week’s interview with Normal Gossip host Kelsey McKinney 💬 What we’re recommending in the Downtime chat this week: mold-free bath toys that don’t suck, book recs for a trip to Italy, and I asked about your favorite book-to-screen adaptations. Note: If you’re a paid subscriber, you can start your own threads — and also join our special Geneva chat for local meetups and more chatter (the link to join is in the footer). * Transparency note: An asterisk above * means I was gifted this item from the brand, but this is not a sponsored mention. Downtime is a reader-supported publication. To receive weekly recommendations and links directly to your inbox, consider becoming a paid subscriber to support my work and gain full access to the archive of 160+ (!!) posts.. Upgrade to paid A guest post by Aliza Sir Aliza is the co-founder and author of Substack bestselling newsletter, platonic love. Subscribe to Aliza If you’ve been enjoying Downtime, consider becoming a paid subscriber to receive extra recommendations, subscriber-only newsletters, and gain access to the 160+ posts in the archive filled with advice, recs, essays, and more. THANK YOU! Upgrade to paid This post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click something and buy it, I may earn a small cut of the purchase at no cost to you. Shop my links and recs ~ Follow me on IG   Like Comment Restack   © 2025 Alisha Ramos 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe