Being a wedding guest is $$$. Here's how to save

Plus: 💋 "He kissed me then took it back"

View this email online This newsletter is brought to you by Life Kit digital editor Malaka Gharib My little sister is getting married in Los Angeles in June, and while I am extremely happy for her, I can’t believe how much it costs to be a matron of honor.  The flight from Nashville, where I live, will cost about $450. Three nights in a hotel will cost about $400. Hair and makeup cost $150. Rental car, about $200. That’s already over $1,000 and I haven’t even accounted for my dress, the wedding gift or the bachelorette party to Las Vegas.  It can be really expensive to attend your loved ones’ big celebrations, whether it’s a wedding, a baby shower, a graduation or a birthday. But financial and etiquette experts say with realistic expectations, careful planning and a little honesty, it's possible to stay on budget while maintaining good relationships.   Help! My social calendar is burning a hole in my wallet! skodonnell/Getty Images How to budget for your loved ones’ big celebrations  🎉 Step 1: Make a list of all the big celebrations you have this year. You probably have a good idea of your loved ones' milestone events this year, so make a list. For example, you might have your sister's graduation in May, a cousin's wedding in June, your best friend's baby shower in September, a friend's 40th birthday trip in November and your parents' 30th anniversary in December.  💰 Step 2: Create a realistic estimate of how much you will spend on each event.  If you're not sure how much things will cost, look at how much you spent on similar celebrations in the past, says financial therapist Chidozie Ibeabuchi, cofounder of By Any Means Coaching. Maybe you spent $150 on a graduation present, $500 to travel to California for another wedding or $50 for a baby gift. ✂️ Step 3: See where you can cut costs to align with your annual activities budget.  If you've got sticker shock from your estimations, see where you can cut costs. Maybe skip the new suit you hoped to wear to that birthday bash or ask a friend if you can crash on their couch for a few days during the wedding. 💌 Step 4: If you have to decline the invitation, do so gracefully. Let that person know as soon as possible, and when you offer your note with regrets, make sure to express genuine thanks. How to spend less on social events Newsletter continues after sponsor message More financial etiquette tips from Life Kit Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/Getty Images/NPR Dear Life Kit: Should I spend $1,000 on a wedding gift? Etiquette coach Myka Meier revisits traditional wedding customs, including the cost of wedding gifts — and how much a mother-in-law should contribute to the matrimonial budget. Read the story here.  Want to lend a friend money? Ask yourself if you can afford to never see it again. Lending money to family and friends is a tricky business. What if they don't pay you back? What if you don't have the cash? Financial experts weigh in on the topic. Read the story here.  What is the new etiquette of tipping? Tipping requests are on the rise. Businesses that never seemed to ask for a tip, like fast food joints, are now asking for one. Here's how to deal with unexpected requests and more. Read the story here.  Dining out with a big group? Here’s how to fairly split the check. Five common scenarios you may encounter while dining out with a large party — and how to handle the bill fairly while being considerate of your server. Read the story here. Support our work & listen sponsor-free Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening and even some specially curated playlists of episodes by theme (Master your budget, Organize your life, Move your body, and more).   Check out all the NPR+ benefits available at plus.npr.org. Explore Life Kit+ ✍️ We want to hear from you! Send us your questions about filing taxes  Tax season is upon us. Our experts want to answer any questions you have about the topic. Should you file jointly with your spouse? What’s the best use of your tax refund if you get one? Send us your 2024 tax season questions at lifekit@npr.org. This week on Life Kit How to recover after a workout. It's normal to feel some pain or soreness after a workout. But how much is too much, and more importantly, how do you get relief? This episode, build out your post-workout recovery routine. A sports medicine doctor, nutritionist and professional athlete break down everything you can do from the moment your last workout finishes to right before your next one begins – to feel better in your body, minimize your injury risk and get the most out of that gym session. Listen to the episode here.  8 good habits that can protect you from getting scammed. Scams can happen to anyone. Experts explain how to safeguard your data and money from being exploited or stolen by fraudsters. Read the story here.  Dear Life Kit: He kissed me and then took it back. The heart wants what it wants, but it's rarely that simple. Advice columnist Meredith Goldstein and psychologist Monica O'Neal — two longtime love experts and real-life friends — answer burning questions about work wives and friend zones, just in time for Valentine's Day. Listen to the episode here. Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? 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