I find it hard to be my authentic self around others. Does that mean I'm masking?
If you're on mental health TikTok, you've probably come across the term masking. Or maybe you've heard friends with autism or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) talk about masking certain traits associated with those conditions.
Because pretending to "appear" "normal" is something most of us have done to fit in at random points in our lives, you might have wondered whether this concept applies to you too (especially if you've also thought, Do I have autism?). While most of us subscribe to cultural and social norms (it's human nature), masking specifically refers to neurodivergent folks covering up their perceived differences.
Masking means altering your authentic self or suppressing specific parts of yourself that relate to your autism, says psychologist Greg Wallace, PhD, an associate professor at George Washington University who studies autism spectrum disorder across the lifespan. Though that's the general idea, the things people change about themselves vary from person to person.
While it's not a clinical term, masking is a common coping mechanism used by people with autism spectrum disorder and possibly ADHD (according to some research on women with ADHD) to avoid bullying, judgment, discrimination, the loss of opportunities, and even physical danger, according to Dr. Wallace. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the authors write that, "Many adults with autism spectrum disorder report using compensation strategies and coping mechanisms to mask their difficulties in public."
For Jules Edwards, a writer and disability advocate with autism, masking looks like making eye contact even when it feels distracting and unnatural. For others, it might entail changing their tone of voice, speech patterns, facial expressions, or body language, says Zoe Gross, director of advocacy at the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. It could even show up as spending more time and effort on a project to make up for some perceived inadequacy, adds Valerie L. Gaus, PhD, a clinical psychologist who works mostly with autistic clients. And it's not uncommon for autistic people to rehearse convos before being in certain social situations, adds Goldie McQuaid, PhD, a research assistant professor in psychology at George Mason University.
Keep reading for tips on how to tell if you're actually masking and what to do about it.
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