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Preparing for Pushback

Why Growing Up Stirs Up Anxiety in Others

Kathleen Smith

May 31

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Hi all! Summer is almost here in DC. Hordes of sweaty 8th graders swarm the streets, while the ducklings scuttle up the duck ramps at the Capitol reflecting pool. While most people are gearing down, I’m getting ready for book launch. Now is the time to be casually dropping my newsletter into your conversations with anxious relatives and colleagues. And to be preordering my upcoming book, True to You! Once you preorder, you can download the companion workbook here.

DC folks, you can join us for the launch party at East City Bookshop on July 9th. Make sure to RSVP if you’ll be attending in person or virtually! I’ll also be in the Kansas City area (*insert Jason Sudeikis gif*) at Rainy Day Books on August 20! - K

The other day I asked my daughter to complete a task by herself. “Why do I always have to do everything?” she sighed with great drama.

You can write this off as hilarious five-year-old logic or see it as quite adaptive. We are built to sniff out changes in others. A change in expectations, a shifting alliance, or a move towards one’s own individuality are enough to sound the alarm. And then we react in a way to get people to relate to us the way they used to.

We are mammals after all. We survive by getting others invested in us.

As a therapist, it is absolutely fascinating to see how others interpret a change in someone’s functioning. ...