Lending money, motherhood and communal living

Plus: Amp up your navigation skills 🧭

View this email online Today’s newsletter is brought to you by Life Kit editor Malaka Gharib  If a friend or family member ever asks you to co-sign a loan, don’t do it, says personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary. It means you’re agreeing to be responsible for someone else’s debt. And if the main borrower misses payments, you must repay the loan. This is just one piece of excellent financial advice from our new story on the social etiquette of lending money. It can be tricky to navigate requests to borrow money, especially if they’re from our loved ones. But the experts who we spoke to say it’s possible to say no -- and do so with love and grace. Photo Illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR Dos and don'ts of lending money 💸 Four questions to ask before lending money 💸 According to Singletary; Wendy De La Rosa, assistant professor at the Wharton School of Business; and Berna Anat, author of Money Out Loud: All the Financial Stuff No One Taught Us. Am I really in a position to be giving money right now? If you have to pull from funds you’ve set aside for critical expenditures like rent, car payments and health care bills, you probably shouldn’t lend the money.  If I do lend money, is this an amount I am willing to lose? If a friend doesn’t pay you back on time or doesn’t pay you back at all, make sure that doesn’t put you in a financial lurch.  Is this person on my shortlist of loved ones I’m willing to give money to? You probably can’t give money to everyone who asks -- so create boundaries around your finances.  Is there another way I can help during this difficult financial time? Maybe have a candid conversation with them about their spending habits. Or help them with childcare so they can pick up a few more shifts at work.  The etiquette of lending money We want to hear from you: What are your thoughts on lending money? Photo Illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR Has a friend or family member ever asked to borrow money from you? Tell us about a time when you decided to pitch in -- or a time when you had to say no. How did you make your decision? We may feature your response in a story on NPR.org. Email lifekit@npr.org with the subject line "Lending money."   Newsletter continues after sponsor message Listen Sponsor-Free Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening AND that warm fuzzy feeling that comes with making a difference. You can also check out loads of other NPR+ podcasts with benefits at plus.npr.org. Explore Life Kit+ For Mother’s Day, a bouquet of useful health advice for new moms and moms-to-be Loveis Wise for NPR Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 12. If you're thinking about getting pregnant or if you've just given birth, Life Kit is here to help. Our archive of episodes on maternal and reproductive health can help you understand hormonal changes and navigate pregnancy complications.    Life Kit’s guide for moms and moms-to-be How your brain changes when you’re pregnant. Pregnancy marks the beginning of a very distinct developmental stage of life that shapes our physical and mental health for the long term, says Chelsea Conaboy, author of the book Mother Brain: How Neuroscience Is Rewriting The Story Of Parenthood. “Those dramatic changes that happen to our hormones during pregnancy are priming the brain to be more plastic, more malleable, more changeable, and ready, essentially, to receive our babies.” Read the comic here. Grieving a pregnancy loss. Despite how common it is, many parents and families suffer in silence and don't get the support they need. The first step, says Dr. Jamila Perritt, an OBGYN in Washington, D.C., is to acknowledge the loss -- and remember that the burden of shame is not theirs to carry. “There is nothing you did to cause this, and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it.” Read the story here. The emotional rollercoaster of being a new mom. Becoming a mother is a huge, complicated life transition that can rock every fiber of a person's being. The process even has its own name: matrescence. Psychologists explain how to manage expectations, get the support you need and prioritize time for yourself. Read the story here. Recognize the signs of postpartum depression. An estimated 80% of new moms experience the "baby blues," says Jennifer Payne, a psychiatrist and the director of the Women's Mood Disorders Center at Johns Hopkins University. It’s “a natural phenomenon that occurs in the immediate postpartum period." Find out what the key symptoms are and what to do about them. Read the story here.   Health resources for new moms In case you missed it Rhaina Cohen and her husband live in a row house with another couple and their two children in Washington, D.C. Cohen says they wanted to share a home with people who they were excited to live with — and who they could depend on. From left to right: Cohen, her husband, her housemate's child and her housemate. Photo credit: Rhaina Cohen What is 'communal living' and is it right for me? There are options beyond living solo or with roommates — and one of them is called 'communal living.' In this arrangement, people don't just simply live together, but share resources and create community. In this episode, co-living enthusiasts explain how it works and how to decide whether it's right for you. Read the story here. Improve your sense of direction. Do you feel like you always need to use GPS to get around? Never quite sure if it's a left or a right turn — even though you just looked at a map? It can be anxiety-inducing to get around when you don't have a great sense of direction. This episode, experts explain how to gain more confidence while navigating. Listen to the episode here. How to take a refreshing nap (without ending up more tired). A good siesta can offer significant mental and physical health benefits. Here's how to take a nap that won't affect your nighttime sleep — and will leave you feeling energized. Read the story here. Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: LifeKit@npr.org Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Looking for more great content? Check out all of our newsletter offerings — including Daily News, Code Switch, Health and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Life Kit emails. 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