A few housekeeping items. Therapists and other helpers, check out the Clinical Conference I’m giving for the Center for Family Consultation on Friday, July 10th (virtual). See me in person interviewing Dr. Jenny Brown about her new book, The Parenting Paradox, on June 24th at 7pm (details at the end). - K How much energy do you spend trying to teach people how to relate to you? Maybe you’re teaching your friends, family, and colleagues how to:
I’m not saying you’re tying them to a chair and pulling up a PowerPoint (although maybe you are). Just that there is energy, spoken or unspoken, into directing others. How successful have these efforts been? When people are stuck in the You-ing (You need to participate more in the conversation), or the We-ing (We need to work on our communication skills), they forget that I-ing is an option. A pretty good one. Let’s look at that list above and I-ify it.
I-ing is not a magic button to get people to behave. It is a definition of what people can expect from you, so they can respond accordingly. It is a definition of where you end and the other begins. It is an attempt at de-blobbing. At the next work meeting, or the next family gathering, take a few minutes to keep track of the you’s, the we’s, and the I’s that people use. None of these pronouns are bad, but they can tell you a lot about how the system is functioning. Then you can think about what you want to do with yourself. I think this is the part where I end with something cheesy, like there’s only an I in maturity. But there’s also a U, so that doesn’t really work. Anyway, it’s Friday. Good luck to everyone. Similar posts: News from KathleenReading: Just finished In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Amy Bloom. What a gift. Also looking forward to interviewing Michelle Brafman about her new book, Draw Near to Me, which you’ll find on my newsletter soon. Watching: Went to see The Sheep Detectives with the family, which was an absolute delight. Speaking of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, guess who has a ticket to her Broadway debut in the fall? Crying forever. IN PERSON! Wed, June 24th at 7pm EST, I’ll be interviewing Dr. Jenny Brown for the launch of her new book, The Parenting Paradox. Join us in person at Capitol Hill United Methodist Church or via zoom. DC folks, you’re not going to want to miss this! **CLINICAL CONFERENCE - Join me virtually on Friday, July 10th, with the Center for Family Consultation. I’ll be presenting on how therapists stay curious in an impatient culture. I’ll have lots of exercises for you! **BONUS JOURNAL for the TRUE TO YOU paperback! I’ve created a digital bonus journal to accompany the paperback launch of True to You. Email me a copy of your receipt and I’ll send it to you. Email me if you want me to speak to your group or you’re interested in doing family systems consultation/therapy with me. Buy my books True to You and Everything Isn’t Terrible for more in-depth stories of people working on their relationships and themselves. If you love them, consider giving them a review on Amazon so other folks can find them. If you haven’t gotten the free digital workbooks for them, email me.
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