Where has your energy gone, and where do you want it to go?

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	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more 10 Questions for the Middle of the Year Where has your energy gone, and where do you want it to go? Kathleen Smith Jun 26   READ IN APP   Family of Asian small-clawed otters. Source: Shutterstock How we are already at the end of June? It’s a million degrees in DC, so it seems foolish to set lofty goals for the summer. But I find it fascinating to help folks think about where their energy has gone this year, and where they want it to go. So here are some questions to jump start your thinking. Which people have I been trying to make more responsible? And how’s that going for you? Often we get stuck in very narrow definitions of how others should grow up. When they finally do what we want, it’s more about calming us down than becoming more capable. Whom have I avoided? Would it be useful to move towards any of them? Avoiding people can eat a lot of energy. Where could contact generate a little friction in the moment but ultimately be worthwhile? Where and how is my anxiety spilling out into other relationships? Are you talking to people about your challenges, or just dumping the stress onto the closest available human or the group chat? Where have I borrowed advice or solutions without using my own thinking? Make a list of all the gurus or social media accounts you borrowed solutions from in the past few months. Now compare that with the time you spend thinking about what’s the best way through a challenge. Where have I managed to clearer about my own thinking? Give yourself credit. Where have you gotten clearer with yourself about how you want to function in your work, your parenting, the world, etc.? When have I made assumptions about other people’s thoughts without asking them? Who are you assuming will say no, without even asking them? Whom do you think hates you, and where might a little contact probably disprove this? What am I doing for others that they can do for themselves? Summer can be an easy time to overfunction for others and then complain about it. What are others doing for me that I can do for myself? Flex those unused muscles every now and then. Turn off the GPS for a bit. Visit your brother without bringing your wife along. Where am I labeling one person as the problem, when it’s probably more complex than that? Where are anxious systems circling around a scapegoat? How do you want to be more responsible for your part of things? How do I want to try to show up in an anxious world? This really is the big one, isn’t it? That’s it for this week. I’ll be back next week with one for paid subscribers. The Anxious Overachiever is a reader-supported publication. To receive all posts and access the entire archive, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid News from Kathleen Reading: Still on the Kincaid and James mystery series by Deborah Crombie. Also Slow Productivity by Cal Newport. Listening to: All the Buried Women podcast. (I did not grow up SBC but the religion nerd in me eats. this. up.) Buy my new book, True to You! (If you didn’t get the preorder bonus workbook, just reply to this email letting me know where you bought the book, and I’m happy to email you one.) If you bought my book on Amazon, could you please leave a review? I’m in need of some more so other folks can find it. Thanks! Want to read more of my writing? Read my other book, Everything Isn’t Terrible, or my newsletter archives. Paid subscribers can access the entire archive. Email me if you want me to speak to your group or are interested in doing coaching with me. Follow me on Linkedin, Facebook, or Instagram. Want to learn more about Bowen theory? Visit the Bowen Center’s website to learn more about their conferences and training programs. Upgrade to paid You're currently a free subscriber to The Anxious Overachiever. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription. Upgrade to paid   Like Comment Restack   © 2025 Kathleen Smith 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe