Welcome to another illustrated edition of Haley Wrote This! You can support this newsletter by clicking the ♡ button at the bottom and sharing this publication with your friends. Paid subscriptions keep it alive entirely. Thank you! #110: Seven things I learned after publishing my first bookOne year of Give Me Space but Don't Go Far!
A year ago today, I woke up with the chaotic energy akin to that of a child on Christmas morning. My first book, the one I’d been working on for four years, was officially out in the world.
Everything was about to change, I was sure of it. After all, publishing a book had been my dream for as long as I could remember.
My publication day itself was quite wonderful. I felt very loved and celebrated (and even ate a cake frosted in my book’s image). But I couldn’t have predicted the emotional rollercoaster that came with the days and weeks and months afterward.
So today, I’m sharing seven lessons I’ve learned since my book has been published. And while some of these are specific to the publishing/book world, I like to think they’re applicable to life, too. Here we go: 1. It’s okay to be a little shameless.In fact, you have to be. Ask your community to pre order the book and write reviews. Stop in at bookstores and offer to sign copies. Post about it on social media again and again and again. It can feel unnatural to turn the spotlight on yourself (I even wrote a whole newsletter about how much I hate it). But here’s a reframe: People generally want to show up for people they care about. I’ve had to remind myself that self-promotion might be how someone finds my work, as it’s certainly been the way I’ve learned about other creators’ projects.
Oh, and when folks who have championed your work come back around as their big moment arrives, show up for them, too. Duh! 2. Obsessing over the numbers won’t change the numbers.I’m a little embarrassed to admit how many times I’ve refreshed my book’s Amazon best seller ranking. The pendulum swung both ways—at one point, it was number one in the graphic memoir category! But a month later, it ranked in the hundred-thousands. This number (and any sales number, really) had the power to make or break my day in an instant. And guess what? There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. This is not to say that I shouldn’t have been disappointed. It’s so human to use quantitative information as a datapoint in determining success! But that’s all it is: one datapoint amongst many datapoints. I had to remind myself that this number would change over the course of my life, and that was okay. PS: This same philosophy applies to aging, weight, and social media, among other things. Inescapable is all I’m saying. 3. Network, but do it earnestly.For me, the word “networking” conjures an image of a finance bro, zipping up his Patagonia vest as he gestures toward the world and asks, “So, who do you know here?” I’ve had to unlearn this notion, because networking, when done genuinely and with the interest of actually building community within your industry, is quite lovely. Rely on experts (bless my agent Anna Sproul-Latimer, who has answered many an anxious text/email), befriend your peers (the number of candid, wonderful conversations I’ve had with other authors has buoyed me through the hardest parts of this career), and remember you don’t know everything! 4. You have no control over how your work will be received.When someone gives you a negative review or low rating, try to let it go. This is not easy. Dita Von Teese said it best: “You can be a delicious, ripe peach and there will still be people in the world that hate peaches.” The same is true for your work. What you’ve made is bursting with flavor. It will find its way to the people craving it. Some people will try it and realize they were in the mood for something entirely different. Someone might even spit it out, immediately put off. They’ll go find something else. The world will keep turning.
This applies to creative work and life in equal measure. 5. Publication (or any massive accomplishment) is not the secret to happiness.It might bring happiness! But it will not guarantee a carefree, fulfilling life henceforth. Anne Lamott sums this up perfectly in her book Bird by Bird: “All I know about the relationship between publication and mental health was summed up in one line of the movie Cool Runnings, which is about the first Jamaican bobsled team… The men on [this] team are desperate to win an Olympic medal, just as half the people in my classes are desperate to get published. But the coach says, ‘If you’re not enough before the gold medal, you won’t be enough with it.’” And hey, if you’re not sure how to find happiness, might I suggest riding a bike on a perfect spring day. Or eating a peach (see the previous lesson). 6. Similarly, becoming a published author will not fundamentally change you in the way you think it will.Yes, there’s true delight in seeing my book at a bookstore or hearing how much someone loved it, but day to day? I’m still me. I still doubt myself and my work. I’ve wondered if I’ll ever publish again, if my authorial career is one-and-done, if everyone who bought my book is in on a massive prank (can you tell I got bullied in middle school?). I’m not sure any accomplishment guarantees pure satisfaction or self actualization or unbridled confidence. I feel lucky to have my story in print (and bound in a bubblegum pink cover). I hope to write more, I really do. But truthfully, I don’t think about the fact that I’m an author half as much as I thought I would. Instead, my brain zooms in on the same things it did before: anxious spirals over the news, mundane to-do lists, whatever song is stuck in my head at the moment. Unsexy as it is, that’s life, baby. 7. Feelings are unpredictable.This will always be true. Take them as they come.
To everyone who has supported Give Me Space but Don’t Go Far, thank you, thank you, thank you. If you haven’t read it, you can get a copy here. If you have read it but haven’t left a review, please consider doing so! And if you’ve done both of those things, wow! I adore you. So much. Links of note:
Okay, my book and I are going to go eat a giant piece of birthday cake. Happy one year, Give Me Space! :)
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srijeda, 16. travnja 2025.
#110: Seven things I learned after publishing my first book
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