Common style complaints and how to fix them

Plus: How 'parts' therapy can help you heal

View this email online Today’s newsletter is brought to you by producer Clare Marie Schneider How do you feel about your wardrobe? Do you feel at ease in your clothes most days?  Maybe it feels a bit indulgent to think deeply about style given everything else going on in the world. But the way our clothes fit us and how we feel in them can have a big effect on our everyday lives.  Clothes are communication, says Los Angeles-based stylist Sophie Strauss in a new Life Kit episode, "Style as your body changes." “When you put your clothes on and they don't feel right, it feels like opening your mouth to speak and the wrong words come out.” If you struggle with self-criticism when it comes to getting dressed, Strauss says reframing how you talk about your clothes in relation to your body can help.  People often assume that it’s their fault clothes don’t look good on them, says Strauss. But that’s not true. “You’re not failing the shirt. The shirt is failing you.” Help me get dressed SeventyFour/Getty Images Here are common style complaints Strauss hears as a stylist -- and how to combat them. “This doesn't match” Strauss says clients will often come to her looking for concrete guidelines on how to dress. Do these shoes match with this outfit? Am I supposed to wear a belt with these pants? If you feel any kind of pressure about the right and wrong ways to dress, that’s not style -- that’s marketing, says Strauss. Personal style doesn’t have a rule book. “Style is the expression of your preferences and personality through your clothes,” she says. No one else but you can decide if the shoes match your outfit or if your pants need a belt – so rock what feels good to you. “This outfit isn't flattering” Comments like “this isn’t flattering” or “this outfit isn’t doing me any favors” are usually code for thinking your clothing isn’t slimming or age-appropriate, says Strauss. And that puts the fault on your body, not the clothing. So put that onus back on the outfit. Start by saying, “I don’t like this.” Then, unpack why that might be — and get specific. Is the neckline too tight? Is the fabric itchy? You may realize your outfit isn’t "doing you any favors" because the garment is uncomfortable. And maybe that means you can swap out that item for something you do like. “My outfit isn’t unique enough” “There seems to be this misconception that personal style is a race to be the most unique person on the street,” says Strauss. But personal style is about making the right choices for yourself. If you feel most comfortable running errands in a T-shirt and jeans, you’re doing it right. If you want to wear a feather-trimmed hot pink blazer to feel like the special person you are on your birthday, that’s OK too.   Cut the negative self-talk in the dressing room Newsletter continues after sponsor message More Life Kit episodes on personal style Photographs by Colin Bradley, Gosa Osayamen, Stephen Emery; Collage by Kaz Fantone/NPR Thrifting 101: Your guide to finding quality pieces. Shopping secondhand is a good way to be more sustainable, explore your personal style or score a deal. We have tips from some diehard thrifters so you can find those hidden gems. Read the story here.  Wondering what to wear? This visual guide will help you cultivate your personal style. Here's advice from the experts on cultivating a personal style — from purging your closet to taking fashion risks in a way that feels true to you. Read the story here.  Sustainable fashion doesn't have to be expensive. These 5 tips can help. Fast fashion takes a toll on the environment and on workers. Here's how you can shop more sustainably and build a closet with a better impact. Read the story here.  If you want to fix your own clothes, try this easy style of mending. There's no need to give up on a sweater with a hole in the elbow or a shirt with a tear in the collar. Visible mending is beginner-friendly, highly creative and helps extend the life of your clothes. Read the story here.  Listen Sponsor-Free Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening AND that warm fuzzy feeling that comes with making a difference. You can also check out loads of other NPR+ podcasts with benefits at plus.npr.org. It’s time to decide on a Halloween costume Halloween is less than two weeks away. If you’re overwhelmed by the limitless directions you could take this spooky season, Life Kit has a list of questions to ask yourself to help you narrow down your options, with costume ideas from our staff. Andres Cardenas/Marielle Segarra How big do you *really* want to go? Ask yourself how much effort you want to put into your costume. Left: Life Kit reporter Andee Tagle went all-out for her costume in 2021, meticulously crafting and thrifting her look as Lord Farquaad from the movie Shrek. Right: Life Kit host Marielle Segarra chose low effort for Halloween 2023, donning a ladybug headband at a Halloween event. Todd Grabowsky Can you turn something in your closet into a costume? Life Kit visuals editor Beck Harlan sourced her 2022 Halloween costume from her closet, using brown overalls and a red shirt she already owned to dress as Mario — an accompaniment to her son's Toad costume. Marielle Segarra Or find something at the thrift store? Using items you have at home can often result in a more creative costume than what you might buy at a Halloween store. Life Kit host Marielle Segarra dressed as The Empress from a tarot card deck for Halloween in 2022 using a curtain rod from home as a scepter and pomegranate seed earrings she already owned. This week on Life Kit Anton Vierietin/Getty Images How to prepare for the death of a parent: A checklist. There comes a time when it's the kid's turn to take care of mom and dad. Here's how to broach this sensitive subject with your parents. Read the story here.  What to do when your house floods. Atlantic hurricane season isn't over yet.The biggest threat in a hurricane isn't the wind, it's the water. NPR climate correspondent Michael Copley walks through your to-do list after a big flooding event and how to prepare for one in the future. Listen to the episode.  How 'parts' therapy can help you heal. Internal Family Systems, a type of therapy, encourages an examination of the different "parts" of your self. Listening to and learning from the voices within can help us manage stress and get through tough decisions. Listen to the episode here. Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: LifeKit@npr.org Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Looking for more great content? Check out all of our newsletter offerings — including Daily News, Code Switch, Health and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Life Kit emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 Unsubscribe  |  Privacy Policy