⏰ Why am I crying?

Plus the best self-help books and setting boundaries.

View this email in your browser MONDAY WARMUP 💪 Try this: Make a summer bucket list of at least three things you want to do before the season ends. (Read a new book? Check out a farmer's market? Watch the sunset?) Keep it somewhere you'll see often so the next time you're feeling bored you can pick an activity to check off the list. Think on this: If you're a people-pleaser, can you channel that tendency into making yourself happy first?  Remember this: You are worthy of friendships that fuel you. Read this: 17 Surprising Things People Learned in Therapy WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS? 🙃 Easily setting boundaries with everyone except our family  Prioritizing the important things Crying the second we start feeling angry Spending our entire paycheck on self-help books Too into the thrill of the chase for our own good Were you forwarded this email? Click here to subscribe for free. LET'S TALK NUMBERS Despite the decreasing stigma around mental health concerns, many people are still scared to talk about their own mental health at work. A recent survey found that 2 in 5 employed U.S. adults worry about retaliation or even being fired if they take time off for their mental health or seek mental health care. Sadly that sense of a lingering stigma could be holding people back from getting the care they really need. ASK THE EXPERT 📞 Is there anything I should avoid saying to someone who's depressed? Feeling depressed is hard enough, so we know you don't want to accidentally make it even worse by saying the wrong thing. We're not implying you have to walk on eggshells around someone who is depressed. But it's worth noting that what you say can come across as unhelpful and judgy even if you're trying to get a friend or fam member to look on ~the bright side~.  In case you haven't experienced it yourself, depression can feel like heaviness that doesn't dissipate, a total lack of motivation, and a deep loneliness. So you'll want to avoid language that might exacerbate these feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and isolation, says psychotherapist and clinical social worker Linda Tran, LICSW. Instead, the goal is to communicate in a way that makes them feel respected, safe, and understood and encourages them to seek support, she says. You won't always say (or do) the right things when you're with a depressed friend, so give yourself some grace, says clinical psychologist Leah Katz, PhD. The important part is that you're showing up and trying; don't get so worried about your wording that you don't reach out at all.   To help you help them, we asked mental health professionals for some common responses that do more harm than you realize: 1. "But you have a great life!" You might think that reminding someone of all the good stuff going on is a rad idea because it'll boost their mood. And that logic does make sense—we'll give you that. But pointing out their fun and well-paying job, supportive partner, and living quarters that aren't 500 square feet is super invalidating, notes Dr. Katz. Implying that they don't have things in their life to be depressed about suggests they're making a choice to be depressed, psychologist Sally Weinstein, PhD, explained. "You wouldn't ask someone, 'Why do you have asthma? You have such a good job,'" she added. Point taken! Sure, life struggles can play a role in why people are depressed, but so can genetics, biological factors, and even certain medications, per the National Institute of Mental Health. So just because things seem great on paper, that doesn't mean someone can't be going through a depressive episode, says Tran.  Keep reading for 6 more things you shouldn't say to someone who's depressed. READ MORE ON THAT NOTE 9 Helpful Reminders for Anyone Deep in a Depressive Episode Here's What Depression Really Feels Like READ MORE READ MORE 9 Helpful Reminders for Anyone Deep in a Depressive Episode READ MORE Here's What Depression Really Feels Like READ MORE 🎧 What we're listening to: Do you miss us? NEED HELP NOW? These resources can help. SAMHSA National Helpline Suicide Prevention Lifeline The Trevor Project Trans Lifeline Advertise With Us PR Inquiries Want to unsubscribe? Click here to take a break.   Copyright © 2022 Wondermind. All rights reserved.   228 Park Avenue South, Suite 26327, New York, NY 10003   All products featured on Wondermind are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.   DISCLAIMER: THIS NEWSLETTER DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE The information contained in this newsletter is for informational purposes only. This newsletter is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this newsletter.