If you woke up on your last birthday (or, honestly, any day) and thought, I'm HOW old?! It's WHAT year?! Yeah, that's real. Ever since 2020, a lot of us have felt like we seemingly lost chunks of time. Because of that, we felt off-kilter and not entirely our ages as we slowly returned to "normal." This experience is what a 2023 essay in The Cut perfectly called the "pandemic skip."
Even if you haven't used the words "pandemic" and "skip" together, you might know the feeling. One study found that, for thousands of Americans surveyed during the first six months of the pandemic, time felt like it sped up or slowed down—which is common for "an unprecedented collective trauma," the study's authors write. And when you have an effed up perception of time and emerge from the confines of lockdown, things are bound to feel out of whack.
Varsha D., 28, says that now that she's on the other side of lockdown, she is incredibly sad about the people we lost and the time we lost too. She finds herself feeling like she's still 24.
And that feeling makes total sense. When your normal routine changes and you miss experiences that generally indicate time's passing—like graduations, weddings, baby showers, and holidays—you can absolutely be disoriented, explains psychologist Ryan Howes, PhD. This can happen during any sort of life-derailing setback, like losing someone close to you, getting sick, or (yep!) going through a pandemic, says Dr. Howes.
Dr. Howes says his clients described this pandemic skip as a detour from life because they missed out on the dating scene, jobs, or an in-person education. You might also be a bit confused when arbitrary social norms tell you that, by now, your timeline should look a certain way since you're somehow older than you feel.
Yes, that's a lot. But one of the best ways to deal with the pandemic skip is to grieve the experiences and time you lost, explains psychologist Cynthia Shaw, PsyD. That's not the only strategy that can help you feel better though. Here, people who've dealt with this special brand of mental trickery explain how they're managing so you can do the same.
Focus on ~happiness~.
"I truly feel like the pandemic took my last year of my 20s and, suddenly, I'm freaking out about my timeline now that I'm 33. Instead of focusing on what I've lost or where I should be, I'm trying to make more space for things that bring me joy. That means learning French, planning more travels, meditating, and going to Pilates. It's been such a helpful perspective shift for me." —Amy D., 33
Set personal goals.
"I've stopped comparing my life to others and learned to replace those negative thoughts with direct action and planning. Instead of comparison, I set realistic short-term goals for myself." —Anonymous, 35
Keep reading for 12 more tips on navigating the pandemic skip.
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