Terrible at giving pep talks? Try this👇

Plus: 8 essential conversations to have with your aging parents

View this email online Today’s newsletter is brought to you by Life Kit digital editor Malaka Gharib When was the last time you gave a pep talk?  Did inspiring words flow out of your mouth as you’d hoped? Was your loved one so moved by your eloquence that it spurred them to take immediate action?  If that experience doesn’t track with you, you’re not alone. Giving a pep talk can be daunting. It can be hard to find the right words that meet the moment. The good news is that your pep talk doesn’t have to be perfect. “It doesn’t have to be a formally written book. It doesn't have to be a halftime speech from a coach that's really thought out,” says Paula Skaggs, co-author of the book Tiny Pep Talks.  But if you’d like to deliver a truly motivating message, Skaggs and co-author Josh Linden have advice. After writing 75 pep talks on everything from getting through a breakup to writing a scary email, they’ve identified four necessary elements of a great talk.  Keep these tips in mind the next time you have to give your partner a morale-boosting chat before they sing karaoke, or before your friend has to give a big presentation.   master1305/Getty Images How to give a good pep talk 🚫 Avoid general encouragement. “Make sure you’re listening to what they need and tailoring the pep talk to the specific anxiety they have,” Linden says. Instead of saying something vague and cliche, pause and figure out what’s really going on and what they need to hear. 📢 Be a cheerleader for your loved ones in everyday moments. People often have more support and encouragement for life’s bigger challenges, like running a marathon or grieving the loss of a loved one, than they do for the smaller ones, Skaggs says.  📋 Your pep talk doesn’t need to include advice. If it’s clear your loved one is not looking for solutions, your pep talk might take the form of “encouragement and bearing witness to the challenges they’re going through,” Linden says. You might try being an active listener and doing some grounding exercises together.  🌷 Keep it simple. It’s perfectly OK to write the words, “Don’t give up!” on a Post-it note and stick it on the desk of a colleague who’s trying to finish up a big project. Or send a text message saying “You’re doing great!” to a mom friend who just gave birth. Say something inspiring Newsletter continues after sponsor message More Life Kit on better communication Alicia Zheng/NPR 4 habits of highly effective communicators. Called 'supercommunicators,' these people have the exceptional ability of creating authentic connections with others — just by listening and talking. Read the story here.  How to write a personal letter, according to a Hallmark card writer. Be it snail mail, a text message, a work email or a birthday card to grandma: good personal writing can foster authentic connection, boost your creativity and brighten someone's day. But personal writing can be tough. In this episode, Courtney Taylor, a senior writer at Hallmark offers tips to make finding the words a bit easier. Read the story here. The delightfully analog art of letter-writing. Tired of texting? Send your loved ones some snail mail instead. Rachel Syme, author of Syme's Letter Writer: A Guide to Modern Correspondence, shares whimsical ways to start a letter-writing habit. Read the story here.   Oops, I messed up! 7 common public speaking issues — and how to fix them. It can be anxiety-inducing to deliver a speech in front of an audience. How do you capture people's attention? What do you do if you stumble? A speechwriter and a speech coach share their best tips. Read the story here.   This acronym will help you give the perfect toast. It's the wild card of every big event — the toast. If you're giving a New Year’s toast, a best man or maid of honor speech, or any other toasts this coming year, we've got some tips to make sure people remember your toast with fondness and not horror. Read the story here. We want to hear from you: Your tips on being a gracious host wanderluster/Getty Images Last week, we published a story on houseguest etiquette, which focused on how to be a considerate guest while staying at someone else’s home. Now, we’d like to hear from the hosts. How do you create a welcoming environment for overnight guests? How do you deal with sticky situations, like messy bathrooms or too-long stays, while remaining gracious? Send an email to lifekit@npr.org with your full name, and we may include your advice in an upcoming story on NPR.org. Support our work & listen sponsor-free Support public media while getting expert advice on health, finance, relationships and more with Life Kit+. You'll get sponsor-free listening and even some specially curated playlists of episodes by theme (Master your budget, Organize your life, Move your body, and more).   Check out all the NPR+ benefits available at plus.npr.org. Explore Life Kit+ Sign up for NPR's Pod Club!  Love podcasts? And newsletters?!?! NPR just launched Pod Club — a newsletter for podcast people. You’ll get fresh episode recommendations every week, handpicked by the people that LIVE for this stuff.    Sign up for NPR's Pod Club New Life Kit video: How NOT to accept a compliment When someone praises you, do you accept it? Dismiss it?⁠ Immediately start listing the horrible qualities of whatever they just complimented?⁠ ⁠ According to researchers, your reaction says a lot about how you feel about yourself — and it can affect how the other person feels, too.⁠    Watch the video now In case you missed it Anton Vierietin/Getty Images/iStockphoto 8 essential conversations to have with your aging parents. Helping an aging parent with end-of-life planning? Financial journalist Cameron Huddleston explains how to broach the topic with your parents — and the documents and plans they should have in place. Read the story here. Switching to a flip phone isn't as hard as you think. But you might miss having GPS. These lower-tech devices do not include many of the apps typically found on smartphones. And that may be appealing if you're looking to spend less time online. Read the story here.  What eating disorders do to the brain and body. Eating disorders are complicated illnesses that are often misunderstood. Dr. Eva Trujillo, a specialist in eating disorders, says eating disorders "literally rewire the brain," decrease brain size and make it harder to concentrate and regulate emotions. Emily Kwong, host of NPR's Short Wave, talks about the physical and mental impacts of eating disorders and how to recover in a world steeped in diet culture. Listen to the episode here. 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