Sometimes, it's easier said than done.
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| | | Q | | How do you avoid taking feedback too personally? | | | | A | | "The simple phrase 'assume positive intent' was shared with me by a wise elder at a critical time." — Tim Snaith, newsletter editor
"I've learned through the experience of many writers' workshops and managing a few different small businesses that you will never please everyone. And that's OK. Take what you can from any feedback, and then release the rest. If I have trouble releasing something that triggered me, then I might journal about it to examine why it bothers me so much and how I can reframe my thoughts. If that doesn't work, I might bring it up with my therapist." — Naomi Wilde, engagement editor
"Honestly, it's still hard for me not to take feedback personally. I've found that it's way easier said than done to undo this connection. Sitting with the feeling for a minute instead of immediately trying to push it down has been helpful. I ask myself why I feel that way. I think sometimes I fall into the trap of feeling like negative feedback makes me a bad person (which it doesn't!). Reconciling this after acknowledging it makes me feel better. Then, I take some action to work on this feedback — even just writing a note down can feel like I've made a meaningful step toward it." — Sarah Choi, engagement editor
"I had a friend once share with me her perspective that if someone is giving you critical feedback, a part of you should feel honored, because this means that they know that you have it in you to be better. We've all had the opposite experience — where we thought about sharing feedback with someone but didn't because it felt like a lost cause or that the person wouldn't care or be able to change. Thinking about feedback from my friend's perspective really disarms any overthinking and misunderstandings of negative intent." — Heather Riesebeck, SEO associate
"Whenever I receive feedback, I look at it from the perspective of bettering myself. I try not to see it as a personal attack but rather as a growth factor. The person giving the feedback just wants to help and share their wisdom. They were probably once in the same place! We need feedback to grow, or we'd stagnate." — Sarah Matysiak, engagement editor
"Someone way smarter than me once wrote that 'feedback is an essential ingredient in the recipe for improvement.' Over the years, this quote has helped me realize that feedback, whether positive or negative, provides valuable insights that help me identify my strengths and weaknesses. I actively seek and embrace feedback from my leaders and teammates and open myself to continuous learning, because without their feedback, I will never get better." — Adam Balderrama, senior technical project manager | | | | Responses have been edited for clarity.
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