Hey friend,
I hate being the friend that forgets.
It sucks. I try so hard to remember to stay in touch with friends, family members... but out of sight, out of mind is my constant reality. My brain just forgets people when I don't see them, even people that are really important to me!
With some of my friends, they get it. Likely because they have ADHD too and experience the same thing. We'll pick up just where we left off without getting offended or even realizing how much time has passed.
But others . . . don't.
I've been called a bad friend, and it hurts.
Especially because I know how much I'm trying to be a good friend, the type of friend that responds quickly and never forgets a birthday or anniversary (or the names of your kids).
But my actions don't always line up with my good intentions.
Here are a few tricks to help you stay in touch:
- 10-second rule. When someone pops into your head, send them something right away! Maybe it's just an emoji or a "thinking of you!" or a funny meme you saw recently, just something to let them know they came to mind.
- Photo screensavers. Create a screensaver for your computer that uses randomized photos of the people you care about. This helps you break through the "out of sight, out of mind" problem because now you've got the visual to remind you! When you see someone and think "oh I wonder how they're doing," follow the 10-second rule and send them a quick hello!
- Daily/weekly goals. Create a goal to reach out to 3 people a day, or 5 people a week, or whatever works for you. Even better if you tie it to an existing routine like sending out a couple of friendly text messages while your morning coffee brews.
Many phones now let you schedule text messages, so even if you think of someone at a random time (like when you're avoiding going to bed at 1am...), you can schedule a text message to send at a more appropriate time.
Earlier this year, I started working with a friend on creating a solution for this problem of forgetting to stay in touch with friends in family.
It's an app called Wavepal and it's been so helpful for helping me keep track of the friends I stay in touch with, tracking new people I meet (especially great for conferences!), and reminding me to reach out to those people when it's been awhile since we last chatted.
Plus it's a great place to store important info like names of kids, spouses, etc or even random notes like gift ideas.
I'm really excited because we're getting really close to letting more people try it out!
If you want to be one of the first to get an invite code, make sure to join the waitlist! I think it's going to be so helpful for people the way it's been helpful for me, and I can't wait to hear more about how people are using it and how it's helping you be the type of friend you wanna be.
P.S. If you have kids with ADHD, there's a super exciting event coming up in just a couple of weeks (and it's completely free!). It's called TEFOS: The Executive Function Online Summit for Parents.
I'm super excited because this year I'm a speaker for TEFOS!
This was one of the first resources I found many years ago when my daughter and I were first diagnosed with ADHD, and I learned so much about how to help support my kids with their executive function challenges thanks to the incredible experts at this virtual conference, so it's an honor to be a speaker this time around!
Sign up for free today and don't forget to mark your calendars for August 15-18th!
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