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Hello, we’ve made it to Friday!
I swear I sound like a broken record. But really, it’s been a lot. Is everyone else also barely hanging on? As I write this, I can hear the loud, jarring sounds of a crew drilling stone for our fireplace downstairs. Did I know they were coming today? Nope. Can I think straight with all the noise? Not really! We’re just winging it over here.
Before that, I had an emotional daycare drop-off. Lots of tears. Parents, you know how hard that can be. I chugged my Starbucks (shaken iced espresso) in the car and blasted a podcast (Second Life) to try and dissociate.
For context, this was after I had meetings with two other tradespeople, one of whom was sprung on me last minute.
What made things feel the most off-kilter is that it was a week of solo parenting while my husband was on a work trip. I had lofty goals of cooking nutritious, balanced meals for my toddler. Here’s what actually happened: a look of pure disgust at the corn pasta I diligently made (which, for the record, was delicious TO ME), followed by me rinsing off the sauce and serving plain pasta with bits of mozzarella and a sunbutter sandwich that was meant for her lunch the next day. I’ve been marching straight to bed at 9pm every night to read/weep/recharge.
Evidence of untouched corn pasta.
Downtime, huh??? (Oh, it was pretty cruel of me to name this newsletter something I never really have anymore.)
All of this is to say, I thought this would be a great week to share a few tips and guidelines that I’m relying on to navigate through the chaos and stay grounded. I’d love to hear your suggestions, too. Hang in there.
–Alisha
P.S. If you have half a second, please tap the little heart on this post ❤️—it helps more people find Downtime.
P.P.S. I’m donating 10% of this month’s paid subscriber proceeds to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center in LA. I encourage you to consider donating directly if possible and/or stay informed about what’s happening. It’s all reprehensible. (I appreciated this post from Jessica Yellin whose newsletter I also recommend.)
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Watch:The Materialists, in theaters now. A young, ambitious New York City matchmaker finds herself torn between the perfect match and her imperfect ex. The surroundingpress interviews for this A24 romcom, which stars Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans, and Pedro Pascal, are enough entertainment to last all of us for at least the next thirty days. This IG post in particular is a fabulous and dreamy syllabus for any lover of good romance and romance-adjacent films:
Buying: The Outset’s ScarJo x Jurassic Park set as a Father’s Day or anytime gift for the man in your life who needs better skincare (aka all of them). The branding is a little “Raptors! But make it self-care!” but the products are well-chosen, and the tiny dopp kit is unexpectedly great. Gave it to my husband and he’s into it. As for me, their moisture-boosting oil is my favorite (I mix it with a basic drugstore moisturizer).
Trying: A surprisingly good list of toddler water play ideas—no new plastic required. Just smart reader suggestions from a Downtime subscriber thread. Paintbrushes, measuring cups, chalk. Simple summer magic.
Saving: Two cozy kid spaces, pictured below, as inspiration. I particularly love the use of the large-scale blue gingham fabric to pare down the sweetness of a pink room. (And that Babar print is so fun!)
How to Survive a Chaotic Week (Solo Parenting or Otherwise)
I wrote this while solo parenting for a week, but I’d like to think these reminders hold up whether you’re facing down a huge deadline, navigating a hard breakup, or just trying to get through a week where everything feels 14% harder than usual.
Keep one routine that makes you feel like a person. For me, this meant going to the gym even if it was just for twenty minutes. For you, maybe it’s a morning walk, a skincare routine that involves more than one step, reading five pages of a book, or listening to a podcast while folding laundry. Or if you’re like me and it keeps you sane to have a visually clean home, make sure you set aside ten minutes at night to do a quick sweep of all the highly visible spaces that matter to you. Your morning self will thank you. Whatever your routine is, protect it. Let that little ritual be your tiny act of rebellion against the chaos.
Lower the bar on meals. Then lower it again. This is not the week for roasted chicken with pancetta and heirloom tomatoes. This is the week for buttered noodles, pizza delivery, and frozen dumplings. Emergency levers exist for a reason. Use them! Don’t stress yourself out more than you have to.
That said…if you can, make one Giant Salad. I chopped some cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, and tossed them with chickpeas (roasted with whatever spices I had on hand), EVOO, salt, and feta. A quick dressing made with EVOO, red wine vinegar, and S&P and voila: a filling lunch that lasted me two days *and* I could eat straight out of the mixing bowl.
Low effort, high reward.
Vent to your group chat as needed. I like to add, “I just needed to vent,” whenever this happens, so my friends don’t feel pressured to give advice or solve my problems for me. Sometimes you just need to say “WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BAD” into the void.
Screen time. Literally ALL the screen time. This one is specific to parents, but now is not the time to think about the potential long-term harmful effects of watching more episodes of Paw Patrol. This is your permission slip to lean all the way in. Ms. Rachel is basically my co-parent at this point. It's the only way I’ve been able to do the dishes, fold the laundry, and fit in a bit of work this week. God bless!!!
The Reminders app is your best friend for managing the mental load. My husband usually handles dog duty, but he was away, so I set daily alerts for everything: feed Bowie, walk Bowie, give Bowie his nightly Greenie. It sounds small, but outsourcing that mental load to my phone made the week feel doable. (Bowie, if you’re reading this—we love you.)
Wear your "emergency outfit" on repeat. Now is not the time to experiment with fashion. Put on the soft pants. The comfy dress. The “this always works” uniform. The goal is to reduce decisions and feel like yourself with minimal effort. My uniforms this week included my go-to basic tees paired with elastic-waist shorts and elastic-waist linen trousers. Sunscreen + minimal makeup + hair brushed = boom, we’re ready to roll. I didn’t look my best at drop-off, and I also didn’t care. Do what you gotta do!
The dog walking got done with a little help. ;)
What’s a thing you do that makes a hard week 10% more bearable?
Guys, I freaking LOVE Etsy for all things kid/baby stuff.
A treasure trove for littles: You can find so many great things on Etsy for all things baby, kids, and decorating the nursery. I've rounded up a few of myfavorite finds here, but I want to highlight this amazing vintage Beatrix Potter set, which comes in a darling, custom-carved bookshelf that would make a sweet gift, and this rattan scalloped mirror that would look great in a nursery. *sponsored mention
A cooking hack I used this week:How to cut corn on the cob without having the kernels flying all over the place (the “two bowls method”).
Rediscovering the beauty of film: I have to credit Sara Covey for my re-entry into film cameras a few years ago with a Canon AE-1 Program. Now, she’s got a newsletter on Substack where she shares all of her best tips. Highly recommend.
A tranquil corner of Pienza, Italy on film, shot by me.
Currently reading: The Sirens by Emilia Hart. I’m 90% through. I nearly DNF’ed this (aka “did not finish”) at 50% (the pace was just so, so slow), but once I got through the big reveals at the halfway mark, I couldn’t put it down because I just wanted to get to all the answers. Overall, I’d rate this as a just okay read, as I found the themes to be much too obvious. I’m excited to dig into Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid next!
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From Alisha Ramos’ subscriber chat
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