⏰ Find your people

Your guide to building a social life you love.

View this email in your browser Hey you, Do you ever feel like you just…forgot how to socialize? Blame it on the pandemic or the internet or the loneliness epidemic—whatever the cause, a whole lot of us are feeling it. We're desperately craving more and deeper connections while also dreading the idea of putting ourselves out there.  Solutions to this solitude problem are popping up everywhere: dinners with strangers that are organized by an algorithm, conversation cards to help you pivot from small talk to medium talk, creative third spaces that let you hang with friends without just eating and drinking.  At this point, we all know the importance of connection and why we should prioritize it—even (and maybe especially) when we're overwhelmed. But that doesn't make it any less intimidating or anxiety-inducing. So, this month, you can expect lots of content about creating and maintaining more connections this year. Here's to finding your people, silencing your inner critic, and building a social life that feels like self-care. —The Wondermind Editors MONDAY WARMUP 💪 Try this: The next time you're catching up with a friend, ask them to tell you something meaningful that happened to them in the past week or month. That can keep you from getting stuck on the same old conversation loops and deepen the relationship. Think on this: Does it feel like any of your relationships are lacking emotional intimacy right now? What's one thing you can do to change that? Remember this: You're not going to click with everyone, and that's OK! Read this: 8 Social Skills That Might Just Change Your Life COMMUNICATION 101 📞 7 active listening tips that'll take your conversations to the next level  If you're sick of small talk, these tips will help you go deeper  Communication is hard—here's how to make it a lot easier 11 conversation starters that will instantly cure any social jitters  Here's how to reach out to loved ones when you're feeling lonely Were you forwarded this email? Click here to subscribe for free. LET'S DISCUSS 💬 Everyone Doesn't Hate You (But Here's Why You Think They Do) Picture this: You just had a conversation at a party and as you walk away, your brain lights up with not-so-delightful commentary like, Wow, that was awkward. Did I talk too much? Too little? They definitely think I'm the most unlikable person alive. If this sounds familiar, congratulations—you're human! But here's the twist: Odds are, they don't hate you. They probably liked you more than you think, and there's research to back that up. Enter: the liking gap. What is the liking gap? The liking gap is a term researchers use to describe the difference between how much you think someone enjoyed your company and how much they actually did. Spoiler alert: They probably liked you more than you assume. Phew! A 2018 study published in the journal Psychological Science found that we tend to underestimate how much people enjoy interacting with us. Why? Because we focus on our own insecurities and overanalyze our performance in the conversation, while the other person is likely just enjoying your vibe and not dissecting your every word. Let's bring this into real life: You're chatting with a coworker and feel like you're rambling about your weekend. Afterward, you think, Ugh, why did I tell that long story about my cat? Meanwhile, your coworker is probably thinking, That was such a fun chat. I should ask about their cat next time! Now, before you start assuming you're the belle of every conversational ball, it's worth noting there are times when the liking gap isn't at play. For example, if someone is actively avoiding eye contact, giving one-word answers, or physically inching away from you like you're contagious…yeah, you might be picking up on a genuinely bad vibe. But in most cases, that sinking feeling of they hate me is more about your own inner critic than their actual perception. Now that you know the liking gap exists, how do you quiet that inner monologue telling you you're the worst? Keep reading for tips on how to stop assuming everyone hates you. READ MORE ON THAT NOTE 7 Self-Compassion Tips That Aren't Just Pep Talks in the Mirror Why You're a People Pleaser and What to Do About It READ MORE READ MORE 7 Self-Compassion Tips That Aren't Just Pep Talks in the Mirror READ MORE Why You're a People Pleaser and What to Do About It READ MORE 🎧 What we're listening to: All I want to do is to get back to you. NEED HELP NOW? These resources can help. SAMHSA National Helpline Suicide Prevention Lifeline The Trevor Project Trans Lifeline Advertise With Us PR Inquiries Want to unsubscribe? Click here to take a break.   Copyright © 2022 Wondermind. All rights reserved.   228 Park Avenue South, Suite 26327, New York, NY 10003   All products featured on Wondermind are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.   DISCLAIMER: THIS NEWSLETTER DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE The information contained in this newsletter is for informational purposes only. This newsletter is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this newsletter.