Maybe you've noticed certain friends (or maybe you?) always have beef with others in the group chat, fantasy football league, or Slack channel. If that has you wondering, Am I the drama? consider this your unofficial support group/intervention.
Here's the thing: For the most part, friendship conflict is normal, says social worker Minaa B., LMSW. Generally speaking, if you have a good friend, at some point, you and that friend will have some sort of conflict or misunderstanding, she explains. It happens!
Maybe it's not flipping-tables level—or maybe it is, IDK your life—but if that conflict involves gossip, ignoring or minimizing an issue, constant arguments, or unspoken expectations, it's become a dysfunctional level of drama, says Minaa B.
Same goes if the conflicts never go away, mess with how you function, or make you feel annoyed with your friend or the group as a whole (whether you're the perpetrator or not), says clinical psychologist Jaime Zuckerman, PhD.
So, if you're ready to take a good hard look at those relationships—including your part in them—here are some possible reasons why your friend drama is on repeat and what to do next.
One of you is growing.
Personal evolution has a funny way of throwing a wrench into your relationships. Positive changes, like setting boundaries, prioritizing self-compassion, or even drinking less, can feel like a personal attack to friends who can't relate.
Maybe you're trying to avoid social burnout, so you cancel plans and spend your morning hurkle durkle-ing instead of recovering from hangxiety. Whatever the case, these shifts in your values can trigger complicated feelings in friends who may have expectations or see you in a certain way, says Dr. Zuckerman. While their response can vary a lot, the consequences are ultimately the same: drama.
That might look like a nine-minute voice note about how you've changed, one of those "K" texts, or gossiping behind your back. Not fun.
If you're the one evolving, you might be judgey too. In your new era, you might have a harder time accepting your friends as they are, says Minaa B. Expressing those feelings, consciously or not, pretty much guarantees some sort of divide.
For what it's worth, personal growth sometimes means walking away from certain relationships—and that's OK. But, if you want to maintain those bonds, you need to "honor people for who they are and assess their strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses," Minaa B. says.
Keep reading for 4 more reasons you keep having drama with friends.
Nema komentara:
Objavi komentar